Pope Gives Anti-Gay Speech; Angry God Blows His Hat Off, Stage Down
Pope Benedict XVI remembered the Sabbath and kept it holy yesterday by giving a rousing homophobic speech to a crowd of one million in Madrid about the societal perils of gay marriage, or as we like to call it – marriage.
But the Lord was having none of it!
In a gesture that surely could only have been intended to say, “STFU,” God whipped up a surprise wind storm and knocked the hat right off of the pope’s smarmy head. The tumultuous weather shook the stage and knocked over a tent, literally forcing the pope to abandon his bigoted speech halfway through to seek shelter.
In the address, he attempted to give at the airbase of Cuatro Vientos Spanish for Four Winds the pope struck at the heart of social reforms in countries like Spain.
“The Lord calls many people to marriage, in which a man and a woman, in becoming one flesh, find fulfilment in a profound life of communion,” he told the young pilgrims.
Suuuure. If Catholics feel confident enough in their interpretation of God’s wrath to suggest that an event like Hurricane Katrina was God’s response to New Orleans’ gay Southern Decadence festival, then we think our synopsis here is fair game.