Hoping to Out Your Son? There’s an App for That!
A French app called “Mon fils est-il gay?” on sale in the Android market claims to be able to tell concerned mothers whether their son is gay (or thankfully not). Using a series of 20 sort of on the mark (Is he a fan of divas? Does he like musicals?), but mostly ridiculous (Before birth, did you want that child to be a girl? Remains there long in the bathroom?) questions, the app claims to be able to pinpoint the sexuality of French mothers’ sons without the messy inconvenience of, you know, parenting.
The spitfires at Jezebel were kind enough to save us three clicks of the mouse this morning and have run the questions through Google Translate for us.
2. He loves football?
3. Before birth, did you want that child is a girl?
4. He he been beaten or been involved in a fight?
5. He reads the sports pages?
6. He has a best friend?
7. He loves team sports?
8. He is discreet?
9. Is a fan of singers divas (Dalida, Mylène Farmer …)?
10. Remains there long in the bathroom?
11. Does he have a piercing in the tongue, the arch, nose or ear?
12. Does it take him a long time to do his hair?
13. You ask yourself questions about the sexual orientation of your son?
14. Are you divorced?
15. He likes musicals?
16. Did he introduced you to a girlfriend?
17. His father is very authoritarian to your son?
18. Is his father absent?
19. In his childhood, he was rather shy and quiet?
20. Does he get along with his father?
A “winning” grade on the test will reward invasive, inconsiderate, self-absorbed mothers with a resounding “You do not have to worry you, your son is not gay. So there are chances for you to be grandmother with all the joys it brings.” Scoring a gay-plus on the test however will blast mothers with a resounding, “No need to look the other way! … He is gay! … ACCEPT IT! …”
Look here Frenchies, if you need a quiz on your smartphone to get you to perk up and pay attention to your own child’s interests and well-being, chances are you’re already being overlooking for the World’s Best Mom Awards (or even a mug sharing the title…), but this is just too much.
Stop being a shitty parent. Talk to your child. Get to know him. And love him no matter how the dice are rolled.
Would you be angry to discover this app on your mother’s phone? Annoyed? LOLing your ass off? Do tell below.