Studly Soldier Comes Out – This Time to Mom (With Video)

Posted by Christopher Welch on Sep 29, 2011 in Video Nation | 31 comments

Earlier this month we posted about the serviceman currently in deployment who came out to his father and posted it to YouTube. You couldn’t help but get a warm fuzzy feeling after watching it. His father was amazing and said all the right things. Few people are lucky enough to have such a smooth coming out experience.

In this follow up video, mom gets the news. This video is a bit tougher to watch. It brought back memories of my own coming out experience with my mother.

I think this guy is so brave. It broke my heart to hear his mom talk in the middle of the video and his body language says it all. There are also some other interesting issues that pop up around the 14 minute mark… I won’t spill the beans. Clearly mom is very conservative.

Was it harder for you to come out to mom or dad? What do you think about this video?

Anonymous

Judging from this guy’s other YouTube videos, I’d say it’s pretty safe to assume he enjoys being in front of the camera. I understand his need to tell his parents of his sexuality, however I disagree with his decision to bring his parents onscreen with him. This should have been a private matter, especially considering the conservative lives his parents lead. I feel he should have respected their privacy as much as he expects the respect for his coming out.

http://www.facebook.com/mtbrochard Mervin Brochard

I don’t know….it very well could have stayed as a private issue. But it’s alot harder for others to do it when they feel alone in it. I don’t say that just to back him up, just cause it’s true. I had to go through this same thing (as I’m pretty alot of people did as well), and I really wish I would’ve seen this video beforehand, because then it would’ve been A GREAT DEAL easier to deal with, simply from seeing someone’s own struggle through this. Like I said (cause I’m paranoid like that. Lol), not backing him up, just saying that it really is a great thing for him to do, and that I kinda wish I had the courage to do what he did.
Anonymous

If this is his process for coming out to his family, thats all good and well. Posting these online is an interesting coping mechanism in that a.) people can see the results, complications and emotional angst involved with being forced to stay in the closet professionally b.) he’s provided with a network of support (and hopefully a positive audience) should his fears of rejection about the process be confirmed, c.) there’s a lot to be gained from watching real live soldiers actually coming out the day after DADT. It shows us that real people actually have been affected by this and its not just about the magic buzz words the GOP throws about about “military cohesion”. All and all, I say its for the greater good.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1450429095 Brooke Arnold

I think he did it on camera to give others the courage to do so also.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Joey-Mitchell/1406675470 Joey Mitchell

Wow… The silence is almost deafening! I got lucky with my Mom because she’s a “hag”, but my Dad’s like this guy’s Mom – told me that he didn’t have to accept me because it would be compromising his beliefs (among a few other choice words and pamphlets)… Christianity – can’t kill ignorance!
http://www.facebook.com/gdeeming George Deeming

Beautiful…This guys is courageous. I think he has made these videos to show others his age and younger what it is to ‘come-out’. This was a very difficult time for him and if you’ve been following his videos you’ll know why he had to tell his folks immediately instead of waiting until he came home in the fall or close to Christmas. Many of us who are gay went through this type of thing in having to tell the loved ones and friends about who we are. It’s hell keeping a secret especially this one – no-one should have to lead a double life. Coming out = FREEDOM. His mom is in denial and probably will be for several years.

Anonymous

I had listened to all of his videos, and I agree, coming out is a beautiful thing. However, at the expense of disrespecting the other’s privacy, just so you can get your “coming out” video on the day that DADT expires, no, I totally disagree.

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YUOA3B64DTOY2QA73BCQQTFNCM Tyler

We all love him still, and he’s still hot sooo yeah. His mom needs to get over it, poor women. I love Randy’s bravery and honesty .
http://www.facebook.com/thomas.robert.miller Tom Miller

As a gay Desert storm veteran, I am just happy he was able to have the choice to be able to come out and not keep leading a double life. I am still repairing the damage that caused. (the double life, not the coming out) He knew the risks and still took his chances. Very brave is all I’m saying.
http://www.facebook.com/yuriftw Oceania Bare

I think it’s really brave of him to come out on video. Someone else could relate and not feel so alone if they experiance something similar, especially being in the millitary. Sucks that she had to react that way but this can be a learning experiance for many people. This is important visibility. Bravo!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520305187 Charles Wence III

He is paving the way! I have lots of respect for privacy and all, but he is showing the young people of our nation that it is OK!!!!!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Albert-S-Wilmot-II/1568813814 Albert S. Wilmot II

I’m glad things went as well for him as they did. My parents and I fought for a long time. It’s been 8 years and they still talk bad about me when they think I’m not in earshot. Between the physical violence and verbal abuse I don’t know which was worse. Between my parents my mother was and is by far the worse of the two.
http://www.facebook.com/mtbrochard Mervin Brochard

Honestly, I cried before this video even started. I had to deal with this twice with both of my parents, and pretty much still am. My dad was way more of a stereotypical conservative with his actions to it (I mean, that’s what I get for living in the South! LOL I joke), and my mom was way more quiet about how she felt. But I really wish I had this around last year. Would’ve been so much better.
http://www.facebook.com/people/C-Bryan-King/100001510821435 C Bryan King

@waterdemon:disqus you’re all wet.
First of all, his parents aren’t onscreen with him, they’re live via phone.
Secondly, so what.
http://twitter.com/Constanzz Constanţa

@waterdemon:disqus I think he’s trying to make a point and help others with his videos, not just to get attention. He’s helping me and I’m sure many others struggling with difficult parents.
Anonymous

I don’t think that he is doing this because he wants to be on camera. I think he chose the day that DADT ended gave him that extra bit of courage to tell them and the safety net of it not effecting his role as a soldier. He said it took him hours on just this one night to get the nerve to call but think of all the days & years leading up to those few hours. To tell his parents something that he has realized practically his entire life, to get that off his chest,is a huge deal. And add that to being southern, from a religious background, military…this kid had alot of weight on his shoulders. I appreciate him for doing it. He will help many others along the way as well & there really isn’t a much better thing to do than that.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=688236750 Craig Knox

I think something to keep in mind is…. we didn’t figure out and sort out everything in one phone call, don’t expect another person to.

There are lots of parents who don’t take it well that are the most proud parents to have a gay child. The more I think about what he’s done, the more harmful I think it is. It’s easy for everyone to say it was “courageous” and “brave” but it’s easy for us to forget what it was like when we’ve been so removed from it. It got better for the majority of us. We forget sometimes. We really do.

If a depressed kid saw bad reactions or even indifferent, or judging… that’s not helping them. It will entice them to clam up, and what they really need is the love and support of their family.
http://www.facebook.com/jazznbikes11 Jennifer Jazz Jasmin

oh wow. Pulling the bible out on her own son. Bless his heart.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Dale-Bowman/1680603695 Dale Bowman

I really feel for this young man. Unless you have ever been through this kind of experience, you cannot appreciate how truly horrible and heartbreaking it is; and as the years go by, you come to appreciate how hard it is for everyone. With his dad and then his mom, he made the first steps. His parents will know him fully as he is. It also opens the door for him to be as he is with his family; not having to live double lives. I trust he will understand that while he has come to terms with his orientation over years, his parents made need time too. We need to realize that just as we stayed in the closets and were formed by society and expectations; our parents went through the same process as they grew up. There is not just one person here who is struggling with identity and societal bigotry. I am glad that there are videos like this; real life experiences that those thinking about coming out can consider and be aware that sometimes things go well, and other things they don’t go so well. I wish this young man and his family the very best and hope they continue to grow all the closer.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=554276315 Adaire Salome

Proud of this young man!
Everyone Comes Out of the closet in their own time and in their own way. There isn’t a “right” way to do it. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to own it within you first, and then tackle the issues of telling your family, friends, etc. The mere fact that you have to “Come Out” in the first place, speaks volumes to the fact that we are normal people who’s lives have been ab-normalized due to societal and religious dogma. He wasn’t going to be able to tackle this openly until just recently, due to his situation, and just like the last prediction of the Apocalypse, …..NO chaos ensued of September 21st. No one was rioting, No birds fell from the sky. In fact, he is showing great Leadership qualities by opening the door for others who may have wondered what this kind of conversation could look like, allowing great vulnerability, and faced his parents with compassion and courage. Thank You for your Service!
Anonymous

I came out to my mom and dad at the same time when I was 18. It went really well. (I don’t think they were surprised.)
http://www.facebook.com/people/Allison-Scott/100001423885098 Allison Scott

I came out to my dad first and he was amazing, said he always knew, but my mom was a totally different story. That was two months ago and she still refuses to believe that I’m gay. She says I’m just trying to be chic and cool and have something to complain about. It hurts but I have friends that are super supportive and are there for me!
http://www.facebook.com/damonross1987 Damon Ross

I don’t care what your mom says buddy, I’d date you
Anonymous

My dad died before I came out, so I guess it was harder to come out to my mom. I was so nervous before I told her I had to take a week off of work and hang out at all the gay bars in Ft. Lauderdale.
http://www.facebook.com/MonstreSacre Mon Stre Sacre

……u did what SOO MANY want to do!!! I’m proud of coming out, BEST THING EVER!!!! Congrats brother. Have a FULL AND HAPPY LIFE as a proud gay (cute) man. STAY STRONG!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/michael.stanton.jr Mike Stanton

for me it was heard to come out to my dad, mainly because i thought that every dad wants that macho son to have a bombshell of a wife and work on cars and have 2 lovely kids, but my dad’s exact words were(to my mom cuz i didnt tell him she did for me) idc he is my son and nothing will ever be able to change that fact, i will always love him
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1244070167 David Joseph Raposo

If i was the mother i would be very upset that this my son put out this video. This is very private. No?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1450429095 Brooke Arnold

My mother is perfectly ok with me being bisexual. I still haven’t told my dad. I am terrified to…
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YUOA3B64DTOY2QA73BCQQTFNCM Tyler

I think he wanted to show the world, that there is still acceptance and hate. It’s sad that it shows between both his parents though. By the way did I mention he is hot still?
Pingback: Priest to Lesbian's Parents: She is the Same Daughter You Loved Yesterday | Gay Blog | Gay News
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1267110145 Tess Bastian

I came out to my parents via email when I was 16. Then we had a “sit down discussion”. I was scared out of my mind (even though my parents are very liberal) and I had no idea what to say. They said they loved me anyway and that this was no big deal. I was super relieved, but I still couldn’t look either of them in the eye for a few weeks because, damn, it was awkward.
http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Kiester/1519967587 David Kiester

I respect and applaud this man’s decision to share his story with the public. We will never change the bias in our society until ALL of US tell our stories and share our presence publicly. (These criticisms for violating others’ privacy are misdirected. It is the soldier who has the right to privacy. This is his story, his life.) It took me much longer in life to understand who I really was. I tried to fight against it. That fighting did much damage to my character and spirit which persists until today. I didn’t delay recognizing the truth until after 10 years and 2 kids. I delayed until 30 years and 2 kids. That delay cost me a lot of fulfilling experiences. I don’t want any one else to have to go through the painful, destructive, unfulfilling experience that I had. I chose living a sham life instead of an honest life. It was a poor choice. I feel great joy for this young man to know himself and live honestly at the beginning of his life instead of at the end. HOORAH!

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