Couple Files for Divorce After Gay Marriage Destroys Sanctity of Their Union

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Oct 4, 2011 in The Hyperbolist | 23 comments

SARS, y'all.

The state of Bob and Sally Roberts’ eight year satirical union isn’t looking good, y’all. The Leaky Wiki writes that all those homos getting their gay marriage on in New York have broken the Roberts’ bond by stripping their marriage of its sanctity.

In an interview, Bob stated, “Sally and I have been together for a long time. Our oldest son just turned ten years old. And through all the arguing and nagging, I really did love her. But now that two men are allowed to share a life and be happy and devoted, I just don’t think that I can see my marriage as holy anymore.”

Sally held similar opinions. “Our life hadn’t been easy. Bob’s been working three jobs to support the kids. I thought of leaving him when he had that affair, but I knew my marriage was sacred in the eyes of the Lord, and [I] couldn’t leave him. But I can’t believe my marriage is holy when two homosexuals can have an honest, long-term, monogamous life as a married couple.”

Sally and Bob showed us the divorce papers. “Our lawyer said that ‘the gays’ isn’t a valid reason on the divorce papers,” Bob told us, “so we decided on a no-fault divorce.”

Touché, Leaky Wiki. Touché.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Hunt/1111684615 Richard Hunt

Maybe it is Bob’s gay relationship or Sally’s lesbian relationship that is hampering their marriage. The only way that same sex marriage can destroy a hetero marriage is if one (or both) of the couple is in a gay relationship.
http://www.facebook.com/Hamilin89 Thomas David Hamilton

Please tell me this is fake…..cause no one is really THAT stupid right

http://www.facebook.com/people/Erica-Cook/100000628613592 Erica Cook

it probebly is, but you know someone will use this cop out.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=840318220 Sandra Rush

That’s exactly what I said to the screen. LOL

http://www.facebook.com/Stultuscaudex Retars Divers

Well obviously these two didn’t marry for the right reasons in the first place…
http://www.facebook.com/people/Joey-Mitchell/1406675470 Joey Mitchell

I call bullshit!
Anonymous

Good riddance! Two less married morons.

Anonymous

yet one more presumably unmarried moron who missed the word “satirical” at the very beginning

Anonymous

Yeah, and I was writing sarcastically. Sorry that I didn’t mark my entire comment with:
“CAUTION!!!!!! SARCASM AHEAD!!!!!!!!! WATCH OUTTTTT!!!!!!!!”
http://www.facebook.com/boobookittyfc Desere Perrella-Olson

wow or maybe not everybody knows what satirical means. ever think of that before you judge a human for a harmless comment they left? think about it.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=42107228 Patrick Clementine

pathetic
http://twitter.com/kpringologist Kindra Pring

Guys it says satirical very clearly on the top there and the language in the dialogue is very clearly meant to be a prod at the “sanctity of marriage” argument.
Anonymous

People. Read the first damn sentence for crying out loud.
Jayson Dean

Wait, so it’s NOT the man’s infidelity that took away the sacredness of your vows. It’s the men who love each other who screwed your marriage up then?? I see. Well good luck with that. =)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1266821545 Laney Bizzle

This is so obviously fake, it’s not funny. The same page has a link to an article about Muammar Gaddafi hosting SNL.

OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!
Anonymous

Translation: I was told that divorce is morally wrong and now need an excuse to get out of this.
Anonymous

I think the two of them are just pathetic enough to use something so wonderful to get attention for somethig so DAMN STUPID. Frankly I am glad they are divorced this type of ingnorance and stupidity should not have a chance to be repeated neither by pro-creation or mis-education. Good riddons and I hope the two of them manage to seperate and find partners that may enlighten then to the fact that people are different and they should no longer look for company in their misery! GROW UP YOU IDIOTS!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1628093901 Sharon Paige Schroeder-Kurtz

Satirical….. Jesus some people can’t read for shit. Funny thing is youzzzz typezzzzz goodly.
http://www.facebook.com/lezbean74 Michelle Delgado

WOW! Are people really trying to use the gay life as to why it is their marriages are failing?! Soooo so sad to see this… All i can say is own up to your own failures and leave your marriage because you can’t hack it not because of someone else’s lifestyle!!! GROW UP PEOPLE!!!
http://twitter.com/corbett_wes crazzycorbe

It’s funny cause it’s fake. It’s sad because I could see this actually happen.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=597438428 Jamiez Sandolav

This is totally not real.
http://www.facebook.com/tonya.crosland Tonya Crosland

First thought ”are you serious? Is this for real? This is a joke right?” My favorite part though was “I thought of leaving him when we had the affair, but i know my marriage was sacred in the eyes of the lord” isn’t “thou shalt not commit adultery” one of the ten commandments. Oh my lordy…

http://www.facebook.com/boobookittyfc Desere Perrella-Olson

why yes tonya, yes it is, actualy, adultery is the only excuse churches will axcuse for a divorce, any other reason most of them will make you find a different church.

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