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Polygamists Protest Gay Marriage

Posted by on Oct 13, 2011 in The Satirist | 12 comments

Sacramento, Ca – Governor Brown signed a bill legalizing gay marriage in the state of California today, to the dismay of polygamist groups around the country.

“Marriage is should be only for a man and his wives,” said prominent polygamist and bigot Dr. Martin Bell. “I have nothing wrong with the gays, I just oppose their lifestyle and everything they represent. My sixth wife was only 14 when I took her, but I am happy in the knowledge that God loves me because I am not gay.”

“In Proverb 3:14 of my own book, Bell’s Big Book of God, available at Barnes and Noble and on Amazon, the good Lord says, “He who covets another man shall be stoned to death, but he who takes many women to bed shall be known as the tiger in the woods.”

The Leaky Wiki has received reports that Bell is being investigated for fraud, rape of a minor, false imprisonment, and polygamy.

Also, he is not a real doctor.

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