Michele Bachmann’s Serious Candidate Status Rumored Result of Witchcraft
Michele Bachmann officially announced her candidacy for the 2012 presidential race in Waterloo, Iowa on June 27th. Mainstream Republicans, Independents, and Democrats were surprised when they realized that they were actually taking her seriously.
Bachmann gained national attention during the 2010 mid-term elections, and due to her extreme right wing position, numerous gaffs, and tenuous grasp of American history, she was not generally seen as a serious competitor within the Republican Party. The inexplicable success of Bachmann’s campaign thus far has convinced high ranking members of both the Democratic and Republican National Committees, and many voters, that Michele Bachmann’s transformation is the result of witchcraft.
Reince Priebus, the RNC Chairman, wrote late last evening that, “we are not ruling out witchcraft as a possibility. The tea party already has at least one candidate who has experience in the Dark Arts. I can’t think of any other reason why I’m taking Bachmann’s campaign seriously.”
Several broadcast news reporters hold similar opinions. One anchor, who asked to remain anonymous, stated, “I’m scared. Earlier today I reported on Bachmann’s campaign as if she were a serious contender, and I kept a straight face the whole time. What’s happening to me?”
While there is no definitive evidence that Bachmann’s new credibility is the result of witchcraft, the House Committee on Ethics has already launched an investigation on Bachmann. The Committee said in a written statement, “it is not necessarily [witchcraft]. We have yet to rule out possibilities like mass hypnosis.” The Ethics Committee also cited the general election’s proximity to what many consider to be the Apocalypse as a potential factor in why people are acting like Michele Bachmann has any chance of winning the presidential race.
Bachmann could not be reached for comment.