Football Players Banned from Stadium for ‘Immoral’ Post-Goal Buttplay
A congratulatory slap on the ass is a timeless American tradition, an old adage used to thank a teammate’s butt for a job well done. Though impostor trends have come and gone over the decades (Like say, full-on mouth kissing your wide receiver), nothing even comes close to the old ass-pat.
Unless you’re in Iran, where a smack on the butt will get you ejected from the league and banned from even entering a stadium again.
After Persepolis scored again in the 3-2 victory, Rezaei seems to have also squeezed an unidentified teammate, according to footage posted on YouTube.
Nosrati and Rezaei say they did not intend to offend anybody. Iran TV said they were indefinitely banned from entering any stadium and could face even more sanctions.
While it is usually a good idea to avoid digging one’s fingers into a teammate’s sweaty crack while invoking ass-slappery, this punishment is certainly a bit overboard – even for Iran.
Did we just witness one of those moments where homosexuality leaps off the screen and into the unwitting eyeballs of otherwise heterosexual teens, who will now find themselves hungry for hot Iranian ass action if their own?
In other words, where’s the (butt) beef?