Rugby Player Suffers Stroke, Wakes Up as a Gay Hairdresser
Butch and burly rugby player Chris Birch claims to have been transformed from man’s man to well, man’s man after suffering a stroke.
The mind mash went down after Birch broke his neck attempting to land a backflip in front of his friends, which induced a stroke. When Birch awoke from surgery, he felt his sexuality flick like a light switch.
‘I wasn’t interested in women any more. I was definitely gay. I had never been attracted to a man before – I’d never even had any gay friends.
‘But I didn’t care about who I was before, I had to be true to my feelings.’
‘I started to take more pride in my appearance, bleached my hair and started working out. I went from a 19-stone skinhead to an 11-stone preened man.
A few things: First of all, that’s not how gay works. Birch’s neurologist claims that the stoke may have opened up a portion of his brain that went previously unused is bizarre. That old adage about humans only using 10% of our brains? Complete rubbish.
And why would the desire to bleach one’s hair be tied to sexuality? (*Editors note: Stop laughing, every single person I know in real life. -KF) Same thing goes for weight loss.
It sounds to me like Chris Birch was a closeted gay man who felt trapped in a life he was miserable in. His obesity, his health, his group of friends that he can no longer stand to be in the company of – all of these scream closet case. Birch suffered a near death experience, and when he reflected upon his profound experience he decided to stop wasting his time on this blue and green spinner be untrue to himself.
It’s lovely that Birch found the strength to pursue his most authentic self, but must we all really suffer through the inevitable decade or so of Christian hack psychologists citing this particular headline as proof that one’s sexuality is a choice after all?
Welcome to the team, Chris, by all means. Go pour yourself a blueberry vodka & soda over there at the bar in the corner. But ix-nay on the bizarre sexuality stroke story, please.