Jesus Heals a Gay Man (Video)

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Dec 17, 2011 in Comics | 16 comments

"I'm gaaaaaaaay."

“If you are willing, Jesus, you can make me straight.” Rick Perry’s latest campaign ad is the most outrageous, the most inspiring, the most magical display of Christian wonder we’ve seen all month long.

Watch in awe as Jesus uses holy alchemy to give a gay man the most precious gift of all, vagina-fin…oh hell, I won’t spoil it for you.

From YouTube:

Rick Perry’s Geezus loves everyone EXCEPT gays, muslims, hindus, anti-americans, abortion doctors, unbaptized babies, people who say goddamn, people against war, couples living out of wedlock native americans, etc.

Geezus does not want us to hurt others UNLESS they have been convicted of a crime in which case we are allowed to execute them with poison or electricity. Also if the people are terrorists he wants us to drop bombs on them.

If you don’t believe in Geezus he WILL kill you with cancer and when you die you burn in hell forever.

Some of his followers want to have access to one of the largest nuclear arsenals on the planet! So vote for Rick Perry! He’s great!

Hallelujah!

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http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=680537791 Richard Alan Merritt

what a white jeesus

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1443795670 Joey Lopez

mmm hmmmm : that’s how they do – ya know kids raised religious with only the topical affections – going to church each day, reading a few bible passages before their brains can even comprehend the fragmented nature of it’s translations and interpretations, much less the difference between fiction and non-fiction (hint: bible=fiction) along with all of that, when they pray to Jesus, in their mind they see Jesus as a white man. *sigh*

http://www.facebook.com/bmzambrano Brayan Zambrano

What do you mean? Jesus WAS white. Just look at all the pictures of him everywhere /sarcasm
Emily

unless they realise the stories take place over 2000 years ago in the middle east – and everyone was at least TAN. but nobody seems to put that together, do they? kinda like how everyone in the bible is white but the old testament takes place in northern africa.

meh2

this jesus looks and sounds a little gay to me… and i mean, look at his wrists. this jesus is gay.
http://www.facebook.com/Weedmon Cody Garcia

vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Emily

omg I almost shat when I heard “these are vagina fingerin’ hands now”
Daniel .

omg that video is so rick perry! the first paragraph of the quote from youtube isnt though.
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http://lifencompass.com Scott @ Lifencompass

tho I am not a fan of religion or pick rerry I can’t believe this is from his campaign.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanya-L-Miller/100000019547081 Tanya L. Miller

This is simply unbelieveable, how can someone running for prez would do this? i mean really come on?.. you know what Rick perry is going to be the First assassination that nobody’s going to care about… I really wouldn’t be surprised if he did get killed because this is crazy.. I believe Jesus loves us ALL & we all make mistakes but how can he be all christian when he’s hating like crazy..oh god i wish I could just slap him a few mil times sometimes but I refuse to have hate in my heart but know that he will NOT last long if for some reason he fudges the poils … i promise you he wont last
http://www.facebook.com/april.m.webber April Webber

I’m pretty sure this is a joke guys.
Christians, hard core ones like Rick Perry, don’t believe in fingering. :0
Plus Rick Perry’s Jesus would never get that close to a gay man. :0
http://www.MaleEroticEvolution.com Michael!

Is this real? I mean, any joker could have just stuck the “I’m Rick Perry” bit on the end. I just really can’t imagine anyone using that as a campaign ad…not even that dork Perry. I’m sure the cost to run a spot that long would drain the 283.34 cents his campaign has raised thus far.
http://www.facebook.com/jon.dietrich Jon Dietrich

Wow, some of you are dense! Rick Perry obviously didn’t make this video, it’s making fun of him, it’s a parody! VAGINAAAAAAAAAAA, I love it!
http://www.facebook.com/avehooper Avery L. Hooper

lol. this is not real, is it???? this is a satire, right?
http://profile.yahoo.com/ZQESBMWOH7J66CJZY7RA7OUSQE James M

omg that was so messed up, Im sorry but this is the worst form of gay hate bashing there ever was
http://www.facebook.com/Kitaro.Karu Kitaro Karu

wow just wow this video is messed up and wrong “jesus did not have anything against gays infact he spent his life with 12 guys one woman and he even had 2 fathers and was just fine

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