A Christmas Letter to My Gay Son

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Dec 26, 2011 in Inspirgaytion | 7 comments

OK, so this isn't Randi Reitan and her son. Whatever.

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed “not being equal” in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences.

…

Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you. As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you, Mama

Go read the entire thing over at HuffPo. Bring a box of tissues. This one’s a tearjerker, y’all.

(Thank you to UB reader Erica for asking us to share this.)

http://www.facebook.com/ashthedot Ashley Dotson

That is really freaking sweet. I got a cavity just now.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000239792130 Elysa Hargesheimer

♥♥ it
http://www.facebook.com/juliannasparkles Julianna Lopardo

On the verge of tears. Amazing.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1064004934 Russell Polecina

Cried after reading this.
Kathleen O’Neill

Parents who give their gay children a hard time are very short sighted. They don’t seem to realize that if your kid can say you don’t care if they are gay, it’s quite a status symbol, and it doesn’t cost a nickel. My son has known gay kids with all the material goods you could ever want, yet whenever he would say “my parents don’t care, they never did,” the reaction was always awe and envy and wistful comments about lucky he was.

I always say that I never got more credit for less effort. Accepting my son wasn’t my being magnanimous, it was his due. After all, as I would always say,”it’s not as though he’s made a choice to be something disgraceful, like a religious fundamentalist, or a serial killer, or even, God forbid, a Republican.”
http://www.facebook.com/people/Harrison-Hill/1471231901 Harrison Hill

I deeply respect whoever wrote this letter.
Brent Lyons

I always wanted my mom who I haven’t seen since age 9 (I’m 40 now) to tell me that it was going to be ok. That being gay was fine, and that she loved me no less. I was always petrified of telling my Step Dad (who was my natural uncle, I was adopted). I really could have used the support. I had no idea that there were others out there like me. Then I got to finding out that there were others, but most were like “vampires” and that they would suck the soul right out of you. I then found out that my older brother (who is my natural cousin) was gay. I was so relieved to find that out because finally I had someone I could talk to. This is a plea to all you parents out there. Get to know your son or daughter, and let them know that they can come and talk to you about ANYTHING… Give them the right to be who they were BORN TO BE! It is tough to be gay, and I only wish I would have had an adult to talk to about it.

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