Today in Unicorn Booty Hate Mail

Posted by Booty The Unicorn on Jan 3, 2012 in OMGWTFLOL | 50 comments

From: robert gordon <[email protected]> Subject: gay

Homosexuality is NOT a healthy lifestyle according to the Bible. If you do not believe so be it, but you have NO RIGHT to dictate your views in the classroom to CHRISTIANS. Keep your views about sex to yourselves and go happily about your own destruction as you see fit… Good luck and God

Thanks, Rob! Good to know. Good luck and God (???) to you too…on all of those Christian dating sites you’ve been looking for love on.

From ChristianMingle:

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4. Mindtutor: Gender: Male: Location: Suisun City, CA, USA: Age: 59.

And from Book of Matches:

I am looking for one woman with which to share time, emotions and life. I enjoy the outdoors (I like hiking, walking, picnics, and talking).

When he’s not busy indulging his obsession with gay sex by trolling gay blogs, Big Rob also prides himself on his punctuality (He’s usually early, ladies.), and his love for South Park and hiking Tahoe. He dresses to be comfortable, is semi-retired, and has never been married.

Rob, Rob, Rob. A word of advice, brotherman: Perhaps you’d be luckier with the ladies if you spent a little less time spamming the internet. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to read up on the privacy settings on some of the websites you’ve been frequenting…besides ours, I mean. You’d think a Chapman grad would know better.

Tsk tsk!

For the record, Unicorn Booty Dating would never offer up your private information like that. Smooch!

http://www.facebook.com/rockylucas1981 Rocky Ephraim Lucas

59, never married, and trolling gay sites… good luck finding a “good Christian woman”

Anonymous

Or a decent gay man! Who would have him? Not even his mama.
http://twitter.com/TStrick67 Tanya Strickland

Maybe that’s how Marcus found Michelle. So hope springs eternal!

http://www.facebook.com/rfitzgerald84 Randall Everett Fitzgerald

This is really a hard article to follow for some reason….
http://www.facebook.com/jordan.paree Jordan Paree

Yeah, gays aren’t allowed to dictate their lifestyle to others, but it’s A-Okay for Christians to do the same thing. I can’t stand that double-standard bullshit.
http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Smith-Wilke/100000791808247 David Smith-Wilke

I have never met a xian that has actually read the bible. I read it front to back, twice. The entire thing is horrifying.
Funny thing though, homosexuality is never mentioned by Jesus. Ever.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1263660484 Howie Jordan

And even funnier is that it is only KINDA mentioned in the Old Testament. I’m not a biblical scholar of course, but if I recall correctly, the passage admonishing homosexuality is more or less a misinterpretation of a mistranslation.

Anonymous

As is the whole Bible! Written by men who did not bother to write it down WHEN it ACTUALLY happened! I wonder how good my book report would be if I wrote it now, having read the book in high school, 25 years ago! Xians are of the lowest common denominator.
http://www.facebook.com/xanvega Mary Smith

The passage that supposedly admonished homosexuality (the bit on Sodom and Gomorah) was ACTUALLY admonishing the cities practice of raping visitors. The cities were strife with countless crimes and was seen as unredeemable due to how widespread it was. This is Old Testament God (angry, vengeful) so he just wiped them out. The only other bit about homosexuality. Often I hear bigots use the 10 Commandments as a way to say homosexuality is wrong but there is nothing in them mentioning it. Most of the Bible is mistranslated, King James used the churches to push his own agendas and beliefs so certain things got reworded, cut out, or added. On top of that, most likely the “historical” events weren’t properly documented meaning it could have been distorted or off. Two people can look at the same event and their interpretation could be wildly different according to how they saw it and their own mind. I am a Christian but I don’t find the “Good Book” infallible or perfect. It’s a book written by men that may or may not have been inspired by God.

As my youth pastor said when I came out back in 1998, “Examine your own heart, if you feel something is wrong, then it’s wrong for you. If you feel no guilt or shame… not the guilt and shame others put on you but guilt in your self and feel God actually hates you for this… if there is no shame, it’s not an issue. He made you how you are, gay… straight… or sapphire and chartreuse spotted. You are just fine.” That wasn’t the answer I expected but thanks to him, I was comfortable with me and haven’t looked back sense. Sadly though, when our church changed pastors (as it was apt to do), we got kicked out of our positions (he was the youth leader, worked with teens and I was choir leader) and in essence, kicked out of the church.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Gillianne-Rountree/100000210206782 Gillianne Rountree

Exactly! I’m glad that there are minds out there that have read the Bible for what it is, instead of accepting what other people tell them as the absolute truth.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1494565592 Michael Jarboe

Wait, wait, wait….. My favorite part to that whole story, the part everyone forgets to mention, is that after our good little boy Lott and his girls escaped the destruction of gods fiery wrath to all sinners and went up into the hills, while he slept….oh wait for it!!!…… both of his daughters mounted him while he lay exhausted and impregnated themselves!

http://www.facebook.com/juljohnston Julie Johnston

Well apparently incest is ok, as long as it’s girl-boy incest.
And homosexuality is wrong.. unless you’re a priest and an altar boy.
http://www.facebook.com/g.alex.fox Khai Fox

i’m pretty sure they got him drunk. but yeah thats pretty much what happened. i’ve heard that they thought they were the only people in the world and felt that they had to repopulate, but i can’t see how anyone would think that with only 2 cities gone and all the other people still out and about.

http://www.facebook.com/rabblesthebinx Brian Frang

Actually, there are two very specific places in the bible that mention homosexual relations, one in the old testament, one in the new. I don’t remember the NT passage, but the first was from Leviticus “If a man lieth with another man, just as he would lie with a woman, they have done a detestable thing and must be put to death. Their blood is on their own heads.” HOWEVER, A number of biblical scholars believe that said passage actually refers to a straight man (Considering a gay man probably wouldn’t ‘lie with a woman’ in the first place)

Either way, the idea is stupid. What people don’t realize is that MOST of those rules were made for SPECIFIC reasons that are no longer valid. At the time, the Hebrews were faced with a major UNDERpopulation problem, so encouraging straight sex was beneficial. Same thing as the kashrut, the reason most of those things aren’t kosher is because at the time they were REALLY bad for you and somewhat dangerous to eat because of lack of proper refrigeration and modern medicine.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Fabian-Diaz/1356052045 Fabian Diaz

The bible condemns not the ATTRACTION to your own sex, but the ACTS COMMITED between men….it doesnt mention lesbianism, so, lesbianism isnt against the Bible, only the male homosexuality and the hetero relations with sodomy (anal intercourse between men and women)

Anonymous

Not all Christian denominations vilify homosexuality–United Church of Christ, Episcopalian, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, for example. Many Christians reject the homophobia displayed in some circles of religion.
Anonymous

Not all Christian denominations vilify homosexuality–United Church of Christ, Episcopalian, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, for example. Many Christians reject the homophobia displayed in some circles of religion.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Fabian-Diaz/1356052045 Fabian Diaz

Butt (sorry for the joke) it is mentioned by Paul, and also in the Old Testament…

http://www.facebook.com/ArtemisBrown07 Gartral Demario Bruce

Its funny. I have never met a “CHRISTIAN” (notice the bunny-ears) that EVER spoke POSITIVELY about the whole gay issue. Its always the classic “you’re gonna go to hell” shit! And its sad cause they’re giving God a bad name. GOD DOESN’T REPRESENT HATE DUMB-ASSES!!!

http://www.facebook.com/estrada.matty Carla Ann Estrada

I know a preacher, an old school preacher, who is actually cool with the whole gay thing because he said ” God is love and love manifests itself in many ways. The bible says not to judge others, so why would I judge someone for loving someone else.” He said alot of other stuff as well but I cant really remember it. My adopted parents are very religious as well, and yet they have never said or done anything that made me think I was going to hell.

http://twitter.com/kpringologist Kindra Pring

“Keep your views to yourself as I invade your e-mail with my stupid views!” Hypocrisy is funny.
http://twitter.com/mari2663 Marianne Marshall

being a divorced woman in my 50′s seeing he has never been married and is almost 60 just sends so many red flags least of it being he is in total denial of his own sexuality.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=194002341 Darek M

touche’ UB
http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Perez/1562983179 Robert Perez

If he wants the topic of homosexuality out of the classroom, I believe that religion practice should be kept outside of the classroom as well. A person’s religion practice should be like their sex life: PRIVATE! The same way people don’t care what I do in the privacy of my house, I don’t care who they pray to in church or at their home.
http://www.facebook.com/bendicott1 Brian Endicott

This is hilarious! I simply love that you posted his email! LMAO
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_G2WSJS7KMYZQK2ANFWQTKPKYFA Jeremy Cantrell

were are these people getting this stuff from? if we decide to teach children about gay people its going to go like this
“some boys like boys, here is a list of sexual practices of these boys, starting with fellatio….”
that’s not how that would work

Anonymous

No, but I would L.O.V.E. that class’s ass off! We gays do need our OWN sex ed classes.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1261066778 Rosa Galaz

What a dumbass, he sounds more stupid then a priest telling us that we are all going to hell because we had sex outside of marriage.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Robyn-Venessa-Mazy/1303224949 Robyn Venessa Mazy

i have a friend right now whoo went to a “camp” to “cure” her of homosexuality- i told her i lover your my friend and ill accept you for whatever you chose, but honey your gay and its ok. shes now constantly fighting herself because she been beaten down with the belief that she is sinning and is going to hell… saddness

http://www.facebook.com/people/Chreiya-Sonia-Zaari/100001967165977 Chreiya Sonia Zaari

Ugh… that’s terrible! I hope she finds peace; Elune -knows- she won’t find it in christianity.

http://www.facebook.com/SiNT4X J.d. Ballard

Oh god, 4chan anyone?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Chreiya-Sonia-Zaari/100001967165977 Chreiya Sonia Zaari

Sorry, I don’t take commands from poorly-written fictional books.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Virgo-Elizabeth-LaVierge/1181809716 Virgo Elizabeth LaVierge

Wow, Rob! whata great christian you are! preaching hatred and stupidity! REminds me of Nazis. UGH.

Oh, shit, well ,looks like i’m going to hell. I’m not Chrisitian, AND I swing in nearly every way. I’M DOUBLE GOING TO HELL! YIPPEEE!
Rob, take a lesson from us Canadians: religion is largely kept out of the classroom, and focus on learning shit you need to know. There’s nothing wrong with gay people, that some Idiot punching can’t help. (FYI: I mean pent-up anger )
http://www.facebook.com/people/Iam-Pauly/1272493011 Iam Pauly

lmao… poor Rob. Let’s see, trolling gay blogs and never been married. This doesn’t say anything about Rob does it? lol
http://www.facebook.com/dianasmortuary13 Diana Miquiztli Reyna

i think i know why he’s still single.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000893345907 Volk Beth

Methinks (this dude) doth protest too much! LOL
Brandon Berlin

WTF does good luck and god mean?! I mean, really, if your gonna hate at the very least know how to Fu#&%ng PHRASE THINGS!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Paul-R-NIgel-Cote/1274212649 Paul R. NIgel Cote

I can’t help but to have noticed how many of these looneys either have trouble speaking, can’t write worth a damn, or both! What does THAT say about them I wonder?

Anthony Myers

wat this guy did wasnt ok but please dont go down to his level and share his personal life to the internet. everybody deserves their privacy even if they are rude.
Anthony Myers

wat this guy did wasnt ok but please dont go down to his level and share his personal life to the internet. everybody deserves their privacy even if they are rude.
Jacob Hubbell

Lol I love everything about this post, EVERYTHING. Especially the shameless plug at the end, UB 4 lyfe.
Joey Willoughby

I hope everyone sent him their thoughts on the issue
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=887180542 Michael Blank

I read that as semi-retarted
http://twitter.com/Saje3D Saje Williams

Gee… If the other option is to spend eternity hanging with people like you, Rob… damn, maybe I’d best ask my wife if I can find some of that gay sex. Just in case. Wouldn’t want to make a mistake about that sort of thing.
http://twitter.com/TStrick67 Tanya Strickland

Wow, single at 59. I can’t believe it! He is such a catch!
http://www.kateescapenj.blogspot.com Katie Andrews

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that homosexuality is a sin. I have not read the Bible myself but I know enough people who have, the Old Testament, not the new one, so I can make that statement with conviction. Homosexuality occurs in animals too, I don’t see anyone claiming their going to hell.

I know a lot of Christians who don’t bother with the New Testament and obviously the Christians who condemn it so fervently are the ones so deep in the closet their coughing up Dr Scholl inserts.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580827090 Daniel Leyva

Any hater who calls hi/herself a “Christian” is mentally ill. The person who sent this message is clearly sick.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580827090 Daniel Leyva

Robert Gordon is described in the Bible (along with Tim Tebow and Michelle Bachmann) Matthew 6:5-15
Pingback: www.luisdunckerlavalle.org » Blog Archive » Today in Unicorn Booty Hate Mail
http://twitter.com/2stilr Rhys Still

HHHHmmmmm, I find it funny, us gay’s are the out cast’s, the wrong doers, we believe in something that is wrong, well can i just say that, you so called “christians” believe so strongly in whats writen in a BOOK, cant blame you, I believed cats wore hats (cat in the hat) but “I GREW UP” think its time you all do the same dont you think.
Pingback: Today in Unicorn Booty Hate Mail: Your Mother's Fart Box | Gay Blog | Gay News
http://www.facebook.com/gingerfishlover280 Lici Channel

I just want to point out that he watches South Park………. yet he’s suuuuuch a good Christian!

Tags

Today in Unicorn Booty Hate Mail

Pages

Tags

Today in Unicorn Booty Hate Mail

Yo Categories

Pages