Shit Straight Guys Say to Gay Guys

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Jan 9, 2012 in The Cunning Linguist | 45 comments

"What if Rihanna was like super naked in your bed, just, 'let's fuck?'"

Just when we thought the Shit…Says meme had said its last shit, a new shitsayer has come along saying some shit to someone else.

Up to bat this time, Shit Straight Guys Say to Gay Guys.

For the record, Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls is the head of the pack in our book. But admittedly, we’ve been asked “if it hurts” on more than one occasion.

What do you think of this shit being said?

http://www.facebook.com/skaterboymix Jeffrey Lommel

Let’s be honest, it IS so much easier
Anonymous

the only one that kind of resonates at all is “I wish I was gay, it’d be so much easier” … otherwise this sucks
http://www.facebook.com/aabramovitz Austin Abramovitz

This guy is supposed to be STRAIGHT?!! I kinda doubt that…

http://www.facebook.com/people/Micki-Finn/737772102 Micki Finn

That’s the joke. The straight character is being portrayed by a gay actor. There was another short called “Shit White Girls say to Black Girls” and the white girl character was being portrayed by a black girl wearing a blonde wig. Irony.

http://www.facebook.com/atbryant Asa Thomas Bryant

And in shit women say, it was a guy playing the girl.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Pup-McKeenan/100001065596182 Pup McKeenan

so far the only stupid comment/question I’ve ever gotten asked was this: “So how do you decide who is the woman during sex?” My answer: “It’s just like who leads when you dance. Who ever is taller leads. Who ever is more hung is the ‘Man’ during sex.” I said this cuz I knew he was not endowed at all. *snicker* I could see the wheels in his mind working it out that he’d always be the ‘Woman’ / bottom. He looked so depressed. LMAO

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1222092324 Bill Landrex O

That is mean!
And absolutely hilarious!!
Michael Briggs

Every guy who has asked me that question gets the same reply: “You would be the woman in my bed.”
http://www.facebook.com/cassie.dooley Cassie Dooley

That kind of sounds impractical.. I mean, I personally would never engage in anal sex with a guy who had a huge cock, and I know at least one gay guy who absolutely refuses to be a bottom because he tried it once and it hurt..

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1504410402 Calynn Torres

Personal preference. I know a straight guy who wants the biggest strap-ons to be found used on him. Preferably more than 8″ length and very wide with exaggerated ridges. In the hankie code, I believe green means you want more than 8″. I’m with your friend though, I don’t bottom. I’m a top, from experience that’s what works for me. My boyfriend could take my fist his second time, I’m sure he could take pretty big cocks. xD Something for everyone.

http://profile.yahoo.com/7D3M7CUEBVR4S5ROJA6ZSGRH6Q Ali

My husband is one of those seeking the biggest strap-on/dildo/real dick that can be found (excluding novelty joke items of course). Myself, i get uncomfortable with anything larger than a finger mostly.

http://www.facebook.com/destynii.kg Destyni DjKaos Green

well its gonna hurt the first time regardless but its all about timing and patience and to me personally whether u raly love that person or not. plus its all about relaxing. ive read and got gr8 tips from my friends about when im ready and when it all goes down for me. seeing as how and im still proud of this that im still a V-Card holder and that i will remain to hold it until i find mr. right. but no matter what u do its gonna hurt the first time and maybe alittle the second time as well. but once u get used to it as some str8 guys i know say it its gonna be just like a chick on her first time. everyone has to tear alittle to get the full pleasure thats desired.

http://www.facebook.com/destynii.kg Destyni DjKaos Green

omg this is a good definition i would say but at the same time shame on u. u have no idea what u might have just did to his self esteem.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=767402173 Scott Barrett

he’s hot!
http://www.facebook.com/richard.trennepohl Richard Trennepohl

yeah, he is str8? About as much as I am………….. article, ridiculous…….
http://www.facebook.com/robertlanckton Robert Lanckton

Let’s be honest, it IS NOT so much easier. :/
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000729458682 Mike Nelson

VERY cute guy!! lol
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=658349466 Neko Michelle Castleberry

I’ve had big shits before, you know what I mean, right!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Smith-Wilke/100000791808247 David Smith-Wilke

Glad to say I have never said anything as stupid as that.

http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Berg/803054650 David Berg

I’m willing to bet there are at least a few people that would disagree with that; … we’ve ALL said something as stupid as that at some point

http://www.facebook.com/ZoeRKing Zoe King

Unless one is mute, perhaps.

… but people tend to write even more stupid things than they could articulate.

http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Smith-Wilke/100000791808247 David Smith-Wilke

I was specifically commenting on being a straight guy and not saying stupid things like that to any gay guys.

Ray Ceo Jr

Honestly, we all just need to lighten up… if they don’t mean to be offensive, but simply just don’t know how to be tactful, perhaps it shouldn’t bother us so much. Sex, sexuality, and gender are quite funny when you think about it…
http://www.facebook.com/avehooper Avery L. Hooper

srt8 guys r SOOOOOOO Dumb! lmao! but if ignorance is bliss…?
Joey Willoughby

YOU GUYS NEED TO WATCH “SHIT GIRLS SAY TO GAY GUYS”! SOOO FUNNY AND SOOOO TRUE!!
http://www.facebook.com/chris.k.camarillo Chris Keliiwaihoikeone Camaril

the title should be ‘the things gay white(future bear) men say’
http://twitter.com/GayNerdProblems Gay Nerd

My stag says “it would be so much easier if I was gay” to me alllll the time. #ABoyCanDream. @GayNerdProblems.
http://www.facebook.com/Raleigh5683 Raleigh Baker

The guys who made this video is a hottie lol
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-C-Ford/100001537572739 Ryan C. Ford

I just laugh it off, roll with the punches Sometimes mess with peoples heads a bit!
http://www.facebook.com/cassie.dooley Cassie Dooley

Some funny shit bein said right therrre
http://twitter.com/socooked Sandy

I’m not sure why it’s a stupid question to ask if it hurts. I guess you wouldn’t do it if it hurt, but I’ve had stuff stuck up there in a doctor’s office, and it DOES hurt. A guy I used to work with had an exam like that and he came back to work saying, “I am glad I’m not gay. That hurt. What the hell is the attraction?” Also, I tried anal sex one time and it hurt big time. In fact, it didn’t go on for long because I couldn’t take the pain.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1504410402 Calynn Torres

I’ve never hurt anyone… Except sometimes if they get too excited and take it too deep, but I try to prevent that and I certainly never hurt anyone their first time. It depends on the top’s skill I guess. Also, I think the point isn’t that it’s stupid, the point is just that straight guys say it a lot to gay guys. Shit poly people say at least, is all things I’ve heard a million times. Or things I know a poly person would totally say. It’s supposed to be “funny because it’s true” they do say those things!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=577041428 Yode Walker

If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. (This can be applied to a lot of things actually. For example, pies. Thanksgiving turkey. Jump-rope. Math.)

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YKNMNICXFJGUNWVIRGEAMD63ME BrandonM

Funniest thing I’ve heard in three days. ;P

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=652993204 Tomas Rosales

This guy is soooooo cute!
Kevin Webb

That guy would be a great promo for UB dating.

Shouldn’t he have tried to play straight? The coat, the hair. That silly frilly drink. (I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating cherries though. Wait…)

A former coworker asked me for help once. Her fiancee really wanted back door action and she hated it. I told her to loan him to me for the weekend and I’d teach him to do it right. She declined. So, I just gave her advice. She said it still wasn’t great. I told her it was for him, and she didn’t have a prostrate and missed the full experience.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=576613362 Alex Cullen

I have plenty of straight friends and have NEVER been asked ANY of those questions except maybe the “Would you do a super hot celebrity?”
http://www.facebook.com/Raleigh5683 Raleigh Baker

Yes, Yes I wanna see your dick…Yes, Yes I do LOL
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736745350 Hayden Rae

How about the “I would so do you if I were gay.” ”I think that you are just closeted straight.” ”I could never do that but I might could be a top.” Really? LOL
Joey Willoughby

I love “Shit Girls Say To Gay Guys”, if you haven’t watched it yet, it’s a MUST!
http://www.facebook.com/diesel3981 Joshua Morrison

I must have some pretty awesome straight guy friends because they never have asked me those questions. LOL
http://twitter.com/uppityfag Patrick Connors

He’s gotta stop being so damn handsome.
http://www.facebook.com/destynii.kg Destyni DjKaos Green

OMFG wth was that shit. honestly i kept praying for it the end. hilarious but still WTF.
Anonymous

My priest (who, along with my congragation, is very open to gays) asked me, then only gay guy present during last Mass, to describe homosexuality. These are some of the questions I got from some of the less enlightened people…..
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=605267208 Matthew Abrahm Hoover

“Asking who the mom is in a same-sex couple is like asking which chopstick is the fork.”
I don’t remember tho said that.

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