This NC Pastor’s Insane Rant About Why Gay Men Need Diapers is a Must-Listen!

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Jan 19, 2012 in Separation of Church & Prostate | 21 comments

Pastor Patrick Wooden, Man of god(-awful medical advice)

Pastor Patrick Wooden’s has something very polite, truthful and not at all offensive to say in the name of God, y’all. Just kidding!

But he would like to talk to you about how gay men can’t help but sodomize one another to the point where they need stitches to hold their bowels in. Stitches, we should mention, that gay men can’t help but tear as they get back to work with all of their gonzo anal action.

Didn’t anyone ever teach us gays that patience is a virtue?

When a speech opens with, ”The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces,” you just know it’s going to be a good one.

So dear reader, tell us the number of times you’ve ripped through your stitched-up rectum? And for that matter, what size diapers you wear.

http://www.MaleEroticEvolution.com Michael!

Well let’s see, if you count that time that…and then the other time that I had this…OH and that time that I got a…alright, my total count is ZERO. Now, I would totally be up for ripping this fine man a new asshole…and then stitching closed all of his assholes (all three of them because let’s face it, a lot of shit is coming out of his mouth).
http://www.facebook.com/logan.vega Logan Vega

Im a double zero….the same amount of Operations I’ve needed for my wicked behavior.. Have you seen the new sexy diapers – similar to the Huggies? – Thonggies. Well I am mainly a wrangler wearing man but if this guy is right, I may be headed to diaper couture.
http://www.facebook.com/badromance44 Daniel Holt

wow… for the record, my boyfriend’s ass is fine… and i mean FINEEE
http://www.facebook.com/people/Martigen-Tay/725670459 Martigen Tay

Anyone here ever heard of ‘wubbing’?
Anonymous

You really can’t make this sh*t (no pun intended) up. Consider the topic and what he says, then think about his name and the way he’s dressed and posing. Hmmmm, me thinks he may be a bit familiar with the topic? Perhaps? Seriously though, why is it only an issue when men do it to other men, but if they do it to women (OMG, shock, heterosexuals have rough anal sex too?! *gasp*), it’s no problem. It’s just getting their freak on. Maybe their ladies should wear some Depends, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be near as sexy as a thong under those ho skirts.
Michael Cooke

Among elderly men you will find diapers, but it’s doubtful if there is any correlation with receptive anal sex. Really, Gay men are such a minority, it is highly likely the number of women with receptive anal sex experience vastly outnumbers that of Gay men, is this reflected in the adult diaper market at all?
Emily

Irony of this: I’m pretty sure more people need stitches and diapers because their poop ripped their anus/rectum/colon than because of tearing from anal sex. And, you know, ‘rhoids. He’s probably just angry cos his butt plug isn’t functioning correctly. He obviously doesn’t understand what they’re used for lol.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=580827090 Daniel Leyva

This guy has to be gay! C’mon, he fits the profile of the closeted gay who wants to appear homophobic.
http://www.facebook.com/auxx64 Bill Easton

wow. what a bizarre man.
http://www.facebook.com/dhtroy Troy Morgan

Good lord… my ears feel so dirty now after listening to his trite, simpleton BS!
Kevin Webb

I wonder if he needs some fiber in his diet? I think he does.
Anonymous

“The God of the Bible made the human sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with feces.”

Well, it sure explains how Pastor Patrick Wooden came into existence, now doesn’t it?
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Jacob Ryan

DAFUK? O_O
Kit Warner

”The God of the Bible made the human uh, uh, duh, um, uhhmm sperm, the God of the Bible designed it and it was not designed to be emptied into an area that is filled with ah um erm eeehmm uh feces,”
Aaron Wolf

So in other words the God of the bible didn’t believe in Santorum? I’m so lost.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=194002341 Darek M

wow this guy is crazy, why does he clam to know so much.
I don’t know why they say we would end the human race, its not like everyone has to be gay.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OCXXKZKO662CA7VKWPLQZFOT3Q Silkcity

Evangelicals are always going on about “giving witness” or “witnessing” for God. Obviously,when this pathetic man rants like this he is violating the ninth commandment “thou shalt not bear false witness”. In fact, all those who are spreading lies about gays, like Santorum, the Bachmanns, etc., are bearing false witness.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1357087483 Nae Usu

did….did he really just say gay guys used butt plugs to keep their feces in?
http://www.facebook.com/CHRISM728 Chris W. Luczak

HE CAN JUST KISS MY GRITS! for sum1 that “isnt” gay he seems to think he knows a lot about it.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NQSBTEGQYVZCUQVVZJA3BDEZGI Ryan

Somebody need to put a diaper over this head because there’s all kinda shiet runnin out his mouf and down this muthafaka chin. ignorant black ass makes me shame!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000929161447 Shannon Barber

He’s a lunatic. And also obsessed with gay sex. Which probably means he’s a closet case. Wonder how many rentboys he’s paid to keep their mouths shut?

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