Sarah Silverman Says Getting Married Today is Like Joining a Whites-Only Country Club

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Jan 27, 2012 in The Critic | 14 comments

King of the gay allies, Brad Pitt’s confession that he may not be able to keep his promise to hold off on marrying partner Angelina Jolie until gays and lesbians are legally able to wed has sparked one of the best discussions we’ve ever seen from our readers on our Facebook page.

Many of you are disappointed and left wondering why the couple made a promise they were unable to keep in the first place, but just as many of you are sympathetic to the fact that it is the Jolie-Pitts children who are lobbying their parents hardest to make it legal.

UB reader Paige suggested that Brad and Angelina marry in a state that already legalized marriage equality as a gesture to LGBT Americans. We think that’s a wonderful suggestion.

But it was UB reader Joshua who pointed us in the direction of this 2010 Sarah Silverman interview that sums up the issue here quite nicely.

Not only would I not get married until everyone can, I kind of am starting to get appalled by anybody who would get married in this day and age. Anyone who considers themselves for equal rights, to get married right now seems very odd to me.

I mean, it’s like, if you say, if you joined a club, a country club, you know, in the 60s that, where no blacks or Jews were allowed. Why would you want to join that country club? It’s already bizarre. There’s nothing wrong with just a nice commitment, maybe a nice civil ceremony.

But yeah, no, I find marriage has a very ugly mark on it right now, and I would not want to be a part of it.

What do you think of Sarah’s stance on marriage today? How about Brad and Angelina’s wavering pledge?

http://www.facebook.com/gothicharajuku Angela Botticelli

I’ve always loved Sarah Silverman she’s so funny, but this is actually quite touching and sweet. I like it.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Lorelei-Hamer/100000099060262 Lorelei Hamer

love sarah silverman! she is from my hometown!
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http://www.facebook.com/heathen.ways Jahshuewah Villiam

Thank satan she is just a jealous mouthy Kunt who makes he living jacking her jaw and spitteling c|_|m out of her kook shettle. she will probably die alone, who could tolerate to dwell with such a one?

http://www.facebook.com/sammael88 Matthew Williamson

Wow, what kind of an inbred hole did you crawl out of?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1262794872 Caroline Brown

Before you go prattling on about what comes out of another persons mouth, maybe you should run a spell check?

http://www.facebook.com/heathen.ways Jahshuewah Villiam

I totally agree, only shallow souless tw@ts who posess neither a soul or reason would even enjoy her peculiar brand of jew jokes… quite right, well said @s
http://www.facebook.com/people/Erica-Cook/100000628613592 Erica Cook

Guess I never thought about the country club idea. I keep thinking about this promo for a resort. Its a discounted deal with the disclamer at the end saying engaged and married couples only. may as well say straights only.
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René Nash

I don’t know if I agree with her. She says “There’s nothing wrong with a nice civil ceremony,” so, unless she means civil union (and there are states that don’t allow same-sex couples to do that either, same with domestic partnerships), I don’t get where she’s coming from with specifically speaking about marriage. If you get hitched in any official way, you’re participating in an institution that doesn’t allow some people to participate in it. Furthermore, if you don’t understand why someone would get married without everyone being allowed to, you apparently don’t realize that there aren’t a lot of practical reasons you might need to, such as immigration status, insurance, and various issues regarding children, to name a few. It’s not right that only some people can get married, but not everyone can afford (financially or otherwise) to take a stand that is more for show than actually helping anything. Really, as a non-straight person, I’d rather someone contact their government representatives and take actual actions in the fight for marriage equality than make a pledge to not marry until everyone can.

Anonymous

I think what she’s hitting on it the government license part of marriage. To me ‘civil ceremony’ seemed to just mean ‘wedding’ or ‘party’ or ‘celebration of our commitment/family/etc’ without getting the license and bringing the government into it. It’s also interesting because if the government didn’t issue marriage licenses and tax incentives/breaks to begin with, there really wouldn’t be an issue here.

René Nash

I don’t know if I agree with her. She says “There’s nothing wrong with a nice civil ceremony,” so, unless she means civil union (and there are states that don’t allow same-sex couples to do that either, same with domestic partnerships), I don’t get where she’s coming from with specifically speaking about marriage. If you get hitched in any official way, you’re participating in an institution that doesn’t allow some people to participate in it. Furthermore, if you don’t understand why someone would get married without everyone being allowed to, you apparently don’t realize that there aren’t a lot of practical reasons you might need to, such as immigration status, insurance, and various issues regarding children, to name a few. It’s not right that only some people can get married, but not everyone can afford (financially or otherwise) to take a stand that is more for show than actually helping anything. Really, as a non-straight person, I’d rather someone contact their government representatives and take actual actions in the fight for marriage equality than make a pledge to not marry until everyone can.
Michael Cooke

As a gay man I wouldn’t want committed straight couples to not marry on my behalf. That would mean my fighting for my rights really is causing harm to someone, even if it is elective. Don’t do that to us. Please go get married, have a GREAT marriage, and if you would help Gay marriage, rally with us, vote for the right people and yes, by all means, register as your wedding gifts, generous donations to gay rights organizations.

Jessica Rose

register as your wedding gifts, generous donations to gay rights organizations.

what a great idea! I love it

http://profile.yahoo.com/DCI2CFE45I4GZBOIOSJEG7VJZM Tenorbear2

My partner and I got married this summer, buying our license the day after it became legal in NY. We designed our own ceremony. Weddings and marriage itself has a dirty stain on it right now and I understand Sarah Silverman’s feelings about it but she’s young. She hasn’t learned yet that the old jerks that ruined it don’t own it. Each couple re-defines it and makes it their own no matter who they are, what their customs etc. Get out the hose and wash off the ugliness of sexism, homophobia, treating each other like property …. all the things that make marriage a “ball and chain”. If you’re an opposite sex couple I would strongly suggest firing your mother and friends and plan the whole thing as a couple. Straight men get left out of their own weddings and this is no way to start a marriage. You do not have to make a wedding the most expensive extravaganza you’ll never remember. The most important part is when you look each other in the eyes and pledge to be in each other’s care for the rest of your lives. In fact, that’s the ONLY thing that counts, and most straight people leave that right off their priority list which is one of the reasons 60% get divorced. Treat every wedding like it’s the only one that has ever happened because in truth every one is that unique, that sacred. If you’re not ready for that, don’t do it. If you are no one else’s crappy marriage will pollute yours.
Anonymous

She isn’t saying you shouldn’t be together or express your love for one another: she’s pointing out it’s hypocritical to support federally recognized gay marriage equality while purchasing marriage licenses only straight couples are deemed good enough for.

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