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JCPenney and Macy’s Just Can’t Stop “Offending Customers”

JCPenney and Macy’s are apparently gonna be out of customers in no time if they keep daring to offend their customers by… coming off as gay-friendly! You may proceed with your pearl clutching now.

One Million Moms, a group dedicated to stopping “the exploitation of our children, especially by the entertainment media (TV, music, movies, etc.),” is behind the calls for action against the two department powerhouses. According to the site, “OneMillionMoms.com is the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children.”

It probably doesn’t surprise you that One Million Moms is a project of the American Family Association, named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center in November, 2010.

And I guess “an incredibly difficult to spot cake-topper showing two grooms on the back cover of your catalogue” and “hiring Ellen DeGeneres to be your new company spokesperson” count as instances of immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity (also: filth).

Seriously, this group should probably find better things to do. When not causing an uproar over a child in Modern Family “swearing,” this group is getting all bent out of shape over the following Macy’s ad:

Photo credit: mynorthwest.com

What’s that? You can’t see the offensive material because you A) don’t have superhuman vision, and B) aren’t looking for any reason at all to get upset about nothing? Well, if you squint really hard at the cake topper, you’ll see that it (probably) is two grooms, rather than the traditional bride and groom. Also, the license plate reads “I Do,” so clearly we got some gays getting all gay married up in here! Good heavens!

Official word from OMM?

Many of our supporters have already spoken up concerning Macy’s policy on transgender men allowed into women’s dressing rooms, and we will continue to speak out on traditional values. Some of our members have reported that they requested that their Macy’s store credit card account be closed and shared the reason behind their decision. During our last campaign, we did not receive a reply from Macy’s, but this does not mean that we will give up.

No kidding. You’re probably not getting a response because it’s ludicrous to be so nitpicky about something like that. Really, find some better way to spend your time.

But that’s not the only affront to our traditional values, kids’ futures, etc. that OMM is fiercely combating. The other comes from JCPenney, the company that dared hire Ellen DeGeneres as the company’s new spokesperson as it begins to reinvent itself.

OMM weighs in:

Their marketing strategy is to help families shop and receive a good value for their money. Degeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of JC Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales.

Small percentage of customers? Apparently LGBT Americans is a really small group (re: we aren’t). And not only would Ellen’s presence attract LGBT customers, but also those that support LGBT equality, which is a pretty damn sizable group of people.

By the sounds of it, traditional families are gonna have nowhere to shop because they’re cutting out JCPenney and Macy’s. Sad day for them!

But really, this coming from a branch-off of a hate group… not the most shocking news.

What do you guys think? Does One Million Moms need a new hobby?