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Church Sign of the Week: God’s Giving Masturbation Lessons!

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Feb 20, 2012 in Separation of Church & Prostate | 4 comments

Are there any Unicorn Booty readers in the Youngstown, Ohio area interested in attending Everlife Worship Center’s Tuesday evening sermon on our behalf? We’ve just got to know God’s Take on Masturbation!

What do you think; Thumb in or thumb out? Lotion or dry? Underhand or over? How does the lord tame the holy beast? And would he ever use one of THESE?

(via Christian Nightmares)

Anonymous

If God created all life, wouldn’t he have to be the dude who INVENTED masturbation?

Maybe we should be praying to him for some new techniques instead of money.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=887180542 Michael Blank

O.O
http://www.facebook.com/people/Deborah-Anne-Morris/1236459977 Deborah Anne Morris

I think this has more to do with the fact that certain denominations believe that masturbation is wrong, because it doesn’t lead to male/female married intercourse and therefore isn’t being open to God to create a pregnancy. Whatever floats their boat I guess.
http://www.facebook.com/jzishka Jeff Zishka

I wish I was free to go, it should be worth a laugh.

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