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Infant Dies from Herpes Infection After Rabbi Sucks Blood from His Penis (Seriously)

The Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office is investigating the death of an infant boy who contracted herpes from a rabbi who sucked blood from the boy’s penis in a religious circumcision ritual called metzizah b’peh.

The cause of death was listed as “disseminated herpes simplex virus Type 1, complicating ritual circumcision with oral suction.”

Mayor Bloomberg Tuesday defended that finding.

“The doctors who found this are objective and independent scientists who don’t answer to anyone, including whoever is Mayor,” he told reporters at an unrelated event in The Bronx.

“One more point: There’s probably nobody in public life who fights harder for the separation of church and state than me. But religious liberty simply does not extend to injuring others or putting children at risk,” Bloomberg continued. “So we’ll continue working with the community and others to prevent more baby boys from suffering these tragic fates.”

Under the practice, the rabbi or mohel removes blood from the wound with his mouth — a practice city health officials have criticized, saying it carries “inherent risks” for babies.

Because of the inherent risks involved, other cities have banned the practice in this form. Instead, a straw is used to…well, still suck the blood from the infant boy’s penis.

Every now and then a story comes along that’s freckled with so many opportunities for puns, creative comparison, and general shenanigans that it completely short-circuits my blogger brain. This is one of them.

A baby boy is dead. I’ll keep my pedophile and No Homo jokes to myself. I will offer this one piece of unsolicited advice though; Herpes-infected rabbis of the world, please keep your mouths off of vulnerable, bloody newborn penises.

(via NY Daily News)