Dogs! Vegas! Straight People! The Top 5 Marriage Threats Aren’t What You’d Expect

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Mar 29, 2012 in The Hyperbolist | 5 comments

Derek from Skwirl’s Eye View believes in protecting marriage, but from what? How about dogs, the internet, and – GASP! – straight people!

“If you’re serious about this whole ‘protecting the sanctity of marriage’ thing, then you need to take it away from us filthy breeders who are squandering it and give it to a group who is actually fighting for it. You know, people that are holding signs and waving banners and circulating petitions and e-mailing politicians and having rallies and marches and bake sales, talking about how great marriage is.

And you cannot fight a better group of marriage cheerleaders than gay people.”

Can I get a slow clap, y’all? (I’ll wait…)

True story, Derek. Thank you for calling it the way everyone with functioning eyeballs sees it, pal!

What do you think of the Top 5 Threats to Marriage?