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So Hot Right Now: Vagina Bleaching

Lindy West sums it all up far better than I ever could:

In this commercial for an Indian product called Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a (very light-skinned) couple sits down for what would have been a peaceful cup of morning coffee—if the woman’s disgusting brown vagina hadn’t ruined everything! The dude can’t even bring himself look at her. He can’t look at his coffee either, because it only reminds him of his wife’s dripping, coffee-brown hole!

Fortunately, the quick-thinking woman takes a shower, scrubbing her swarthy snatch with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash (“Freshness + Fairness”). And poof! Her vadge comes out blinding white like a downy baby lamb (and NOT THE GROSS BLACK KIND) and her husband—whose penis, I can only assume, is literally a light saber—is all, “Hey, lady! Cancel them divorce papers and LET’S BONE.”

It would appear obvious to me that something cannot be both bleach and a product for your vagina. Any item claiming to be both should be held at an arm’s length, and certainly not applied to one’s vagina. But hey, that’s just me.

Now where did my glow-in-the-dark scrotum spray go?