Lesbian Pens Column on How To Seduce Straight Women; World Explodes

Posted by Booty The Unicorn on Apr 26, 2012 in The Critic | 22 comments

Staceyann Chin

Staceyann Chin’s column in The Guardian, Why Chasing Straight Women Still Thrills Me, has women (both lesbian and straight) and men (don’t steal my girl, yo) up in arms.

Chin’s column is practically a how-to manual for lesbian women on how to get the (straight) girl, but it’s the personal intimacy and shared memories of the author, along with an almost Cluelessian penchant for using lesbian pop lingo (LUG? Lesbian until graduation. See also, “I like the way you make that pink push-up bra look intellectual”) that elevates the essay into straight-up this is all over my Twitter feed prominence.

And for the most part, the essay works. Chin, after all is just sharing some tricks of the trade while recanting some lost loves. But things grind to a screeching halt right around this point:

If you really want a shot at getting close to this woman, you have to wait until there is a crack in the lack of respect her boyfriend has for her. Watch for when he is late, or disrespectful, or inconsiderate. Casually mention that you would never treat a woman like that. Reinforce how she deserves so much better. Store the details. Then wait for him to mess up big.

Oh dear. Suddenly we’re in an episode of Law & Order: SVU.

Autostraddle’s Gabrielle Rivera (who I’m quite a fan of) calls Chin out:

What in the name of creeper hell kind of advice is that for one woman to be giving out to other women? Are you serious? So now lesbians who like non-lesbian women should wait for their boyfriends to hurt them in order to begin some sort of subtle manipulation into their hearts? That is the most underhanded shit I’ve ever read. When one enters into a platonic relationship with a woman, also known as a “friendship,” it should be respected, cherished and not used as an in for you to be the first woman to snatch her snatch.

*Note to straight chicks: If a lesbian uses/abuses your trust and friendship solely to get at your goodies, you have my permission to punch that bitch in the face.

Rivera (and I, really) also take umbrage with this bit of malarkey from Chin:

Either way, you are the chosen one, the messiah, the mandate that pulls her, magnetic, toward her most hidden desires.

Honestly, I could cut and paste vignettes from both of these talented writers all day long. But why don’t you just go ahead and read both pieces right now and report back to me in the comments with your thoughts on this lesbian lit showdown.

Read Staceyann Chin’s Why Chasing Straight Women Still Thrills Me.

Read Gabrielle Rivera’s Why Chasing Straight Women is for Amateurs (or Not All Lesbians Creep on Straight Girls).

Personally, I’m with Rivera on this one. The only thing separating Chin from the lecherous old man from Family Guy is a pair of breasts and pretty hair. Lesbian messiah unlocking magnetic desires? Girl, you just published a manifesto about being a sexual predator in an international news outlet! Whether or not this is your personal truth is irrelevant.

Props to Rivera for advising Chin “Put your feelings, God complex and horniness aside and be a fucking friend.” Amen.

What do you think about all this? Are you with Chin or Rivera here? Should lesbians seduce straight women? Is all fair in love and bicuriousity?

Anonymous

Oh yes, I know a few fellow dykes who’ve made a career out of confused straight women.. but always at a price. Those straight ladies can get … very… crazy.
http://twitter.com/Melissbian Missie

Wow. My *actual* best friend is straight. I did not go into our relationship attempting to “be her very best friend” to get into her pants (never have, never will). That is indeed some manipulative bullshit.
Anonymous

Wow, what a great way to perpetuate the, “gays and lesbians can’t be friends with heterosexuals because they all secretly want to get up in their giggle-bits” fear that straights have. Thanks for helping straights be that little bit more homophobic towards the gays Ms. Chin! I mean, “Messiah”! LOL

http://www.facebook.com/ZoeRKing Zoe King

To be fair, people who are homophobic would be so without this article.
Not to mention that this piece of creepy writing doesn’t even deserve credit – good or bad! It is plain awful and shouldn’t even get the joy of getting these kneejerk comments that I bet the writer is trying to bait us all into saying.

Anonymous

Yes I know people would still be homophobic regardless of this article. I’m just saying this article doesn’t help that fact either — there are some idiots who would read it and garner it as more evidence gays secretly just want in their heterosexual panties to “convert” them. I was mostly just being sarcastic and tongue in cheek with my comment because the article was so ridiculous it’s laughable. But you’re right, it shouldn’t deserve so much attention as it has gotten.

Michael Hamilton

I won’t say this is 100% true, but as a person who is fairly familiar with Staceyann Chin’s writing there is most likely a touch of satire in there. I do not believe Chin is actually advocating for preying on straight women. The authors of this article should probably take this in the context it was intended.

Anonymous

I agree, I think this piece is satirical memoir, not literal or instructional.

http://profile.yahoo.com/LPYBF7OFRWYQEBGXIR757IP2KA Robin

Very sad. What makes her any better than the boyfriend who lies or is being an ass? In fact, she is worse, a person who is using her gender to get close to someone who is unsuspecting and preying on them.
Anonymous

I think some may be missing the point of Chin’s article. It’s more of a painfully honest monologue in which she admits to having made and experienced questionable decisions and behaviours, as we all have. The overall feeling I get is of regret and confession–there’s a lot of bravery in admitting to being that creeper. But I don’t ever feel that she’s advocating it. She concludes on the feeling of loss she was inevitably left with, all the more bitter because she went into these experiences with open eyes. The instructional tone of the piece is merely an (effective) literary device.

http://profile.yahoo.com/6LVLHR32LEMEM7YAQ2PVE2MUYE El Presidente

You are making some serious assumptions with no real evidence to back them up. Understanding “literary device” is impressive and all, but where are you coming from?

Anonymous

I’m a queer woman and a writer, and I’m merely expressing what I got from the article.

http://www.facebook.com/ZoeRKing Zoe King

Men that think they can turn lesbians straight? Sure, they exist and will for quite some time.
Lesbians that think they can turn straights gay? Shoot me in the face, because I forgot no part of humanity was above stupidity.
http://twitter.com/sweetnerdswag Taylor Richardson

Oh my lord, straight guys do this to women ALL THE DAMN TIME, but noooooo the moment it seems like a queer women might be doing it we get all up in arms.

http://twitter.com/sovereignhope Sovereign

In short, it’s because we should be better than that.
Anonymous

Plus, she even acknowledges in the article she’s in some ways behaving similar to that of a “stereotypical man” — whom she herself mentions she despises — the manipulative kind who pretends to be a friend in order to bed the woman. But does it anyway because she can’t resist the allure of conquering a straight woman. I know not lesbians are saints, I’ve met some truly evil ones but Sovereign’s right, we should be better than that. We should know better.

http://twitter.com/BlueScorpioMoon Jennifer

Huh. So, get close to a woman, be her friend, make a move when her man behaves like a jerk. Pretty much what straight guys have been doing from the beginning of time, then. Certainly it’s unethical to play on anyone’s vulnerability, but she’s not saying anything new here (other than the “messiah” comment, which, wow).
Anonymous

This is disgusting.
Anonymous

This is completely disgusting. How can the GLBT community hope to gain any respect if we can’t respect other people’s orientations? This does little more than perpetuate the idea that we’re predators.
http://twitter.com/Ingvasdottir Leslie Craig

I’m with Taylor here. Seduction can be refused if one really doesn’t want it; it isn’t rape. I do find it odd, though. I’ve heard gays of both sexes tell me that bis are a scary and unnecessary complication if you’re monogamous. Here’s the other side of that picture, lesbian and obviously poly.
Ricardo Maldonado

I hate to say it, for the obvious reasons of the reputation for the LGBT community, but I don’t think that what she wrote is all that bad. Being a bisexual man, i’m pretty familiar with the extent of what bisexual experimentation has to offer and usually it ends in some self reflection, drama, denial and feeling lost/lonely. So, I know it may not sound good but, it is a reality that many of us have lived through. And besides, at least with her case she wasn’t getting them drunk, doing the nasty, video taping it while they are unaware and then posting that video for a public outing which seems to be all the rage these days….lol
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001003614127 Angela Stanczak

I’m not sure how well it would even work, just to wait until a girl is upset in her relationship, I mean. Most girls (believe it or not) aren’t inclined to cheating at the first sign of trouble.
Besides, have you seen her? She’s not bad looking, I guess, but in order for me to want to cheat on my boyfriend with another woman (or with anyone in general), she would have to be on par with Angelina Jolie, and Angelina she is not– just saying, I have some pretty high standards for someone who is cheat worthy.
http://www.facebook.com/ELNetwork Taron Deeson

I don’t agree with chin… it’s wrong and immoral!

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