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A Fap A Day Keeps the Doctor Away! Masturbation Prevents Prostate Cancer

In the comfort of your own home, of course!

Who knew a favorite pastime could actually improve your chances of not dying?

Studies have shown that masturbation actually reduces the chances of getting prostate cancer in men. And now, there’s a social media “service” being developed to help you with your “habit” while simultaneously improving your health and giving you the opportunity to donate to prostate cancer research! Three’fer!

Not since the advent of the sperm bank have you been able to do so much good with your alone time!

Just take a look at the video. It’ll explain itself.

So basically, you can use Fap as a way to bookmark for favorite naughty pages, track your “me time” and then turn those “introspection” sessions into money for prostate cancer research! Genius!

But in all seriousness, prostate cancer is a big deal. As the video stated, it’s the second-deadliest cancer among men, and affects 1 in 6 men. Here are some other statistics (2010), courtesy of Ohio State University:

  • Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men, excluding skin cancer.
  • American Cancer Society (ACS) estimates for 2010 include 217,730 new cases of prostate cancer in the US.
  • Year 2010 estimates include 32,050 deaths occurring from prostate cancer in the US alone, making it the second leading cause of cancer death in men.
  • All men are at risk for prostate cancer. The risk increases with age, and family history also increases the risk.
  • African American men are more likely to have prostate cancer than Caucasian men, and have nearly a two-fold higher mortality rate than Caucasian men.

For real though, guys. Prostate cancer is serious business, and incredibly deadly. Prostate cancer is very treatable and highly curable, but early detection is key. Get yourselves checked regularly.

With this newfound info about helping yourself while you help yourself, would any of you use Fap?

Bear in mind that we’re not entirely sure this service actually exists or is being seriously developed. A Google search yielded little aside from the video we included.

But hypotheticals are fun! So if any of you were to hypothetically masturbate three hypothetical times in a hypothetical week, would Fap be something you’d take advantage of (hypothetically, of course)?

Sound off in the comments!