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Man Sues BMW for Breaking His Penis with a 4-Year-Long Boner

Posted by on May 4, 2012 in Genital Warfare | 6 comments

According to his attorney, Vernon Bradley, Wolf took a four-hour ride – two hours each way – on his 1993 motorcycle on May 1, 2010.  After the trip, he developed priapism, a prolonged, unwanted, persistent and painful erection of the penis that for Wolf has lasted 24 hours a day since the ride.

“It’s very embarrassing, and all kind of problems developed,” Bradley told ABC News.  “He had to reconfigure his clothing, and going to the bathroom was  a problem.”

And recently things have gotten worse, Bradley said.  Wolf is now unable to have an erection.

Wolf consulted a number of physicians, who told him the condition was the result of both the configuration of the seat and the long motorcycle ride.

So naturally, Bradley is suing BMW. Wait, what?

Where is Bradley’s personal accountability in all of this? If you suspected that your motorcycle was indeed breaking your penis, wouldn’t it be wise at some point to stop riding that particular motorcycle? And not wait four years until the damage was too great to recover from?

Doctors are suspect about his chances in court.

Dr. Ramgopal Satyanarayana, associate professor of urology at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine, said that while he isn’t involved in Wolf’s case, he has never heard of a case of priapism caused by a motorcycle seat.

Priapism, he said, can be a side effect of certain medications, such as Viagra, Cialis and antipsychotics. It can also develop as a complication of sickle cell anemia, a disease that causes red blood cells to take on an abnormal shape. In rare cases, Satyanarayana said, priapism could be the result of trauma. If not treated early, Satyanarayana said, priapism could lead to permanent erectile dysfunction.

There you have it. Even if the motorcycle seat was what was trumpeting the 24/7 boner parade, it’s Bradley’s own failure to do anything about it for four years that has caused his permanent erectile dysfunction.

Fellas, if you have a problem down below, please don’t wait four years to consult a doctor about it.

Do you think Bradley deserves a big payout from BMW for his broken penis? Or does he have nobody to blame but himself?

(via ABC News)