Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality is Law

Posted by Kevin Farrell on May 25, 2012 in The Critic | 28 comments

Famous West Coast gay watering hole, The Abbey has had quite enough of packs of straight girls in penis hats rubbing their upcoming weddings in the faces of all the gay boys on the dance floor, thank you very much.

Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our gogos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married. Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.

It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s Bachelorette Ban comes on the heels of a ban on Gay Marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the south. The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until Marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.

We sniff what you’re scratching, Abbey!

Ladies, we LOVE you. My foster mother, sister, and mother-in-law are three of the most brilliant, most beautiful women on the planet. The Unicorn Booty team is neither women-phobic or afraid of lady parts. There are far more important women in our lives than men.

But with that said, there is a right way and a wrong way to behave in a gay bar. And celebrating your marital rights while we possess none of our own is lowdown, dirty, mean-spirited and ignorant. Don’t do it. Ever.

And if you haven’t seen it yet, feast your eyeballs on the Straight Girl’s Guide to Attending a Gay Bar right now.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592796245 Trenton Flock

I support The Abbey 100 percent. In a better world, this would not be an issue thanks to basic courtesy. In an even better world, it would not be an issue because we would have equality and we’d be able to ogle the go-gos in harmony. Frankly, I think we’ll actually have equality before people learn basic courtesy. (And I can’t tell if that is sad or optimistic.)
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1563870020 Brendan Michael Lane

Ive always made the argument that its annoying to have a girl come into a gay bar and shove her marriage in my face. It makes me feel like less of a person.
http://www.facebook.com/g.alex.fox Khai Fox

I support this.
http://www.facebook.com/thefuzio Jawsch Teh Grundo King

Yes, I support it.
http://www.facebook.com/MadBakerSF Danny Glidden

All I can say is THANK YOU!!! I am behind you 100%
http://twitter.com/under_armour_ Ray Wright

Support 100%
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1132429329 Amanda McDonald

Hell, yes!! It is completely insensitive and rude of these girls! Stick with the ban, The Abbey!! Hopefully we won’t have to wait long before it can be lifted for good!!
http://twitter.com/arthur_b_chaney arthur_b_chaney

disagree with this 100%. next they will discriminate against another form of fun in a bar where people feel safe. If you are going to not let women in because gays can’t get married come up with a better excuse. be a bath house, now that I can get behind
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1443795670 Joey Lopez

awwww, torn a little, on the one hand, girls who are going to a gay bar for their bachlorete party are probably pretty much for our rights, seems tough to punish them over it. on the other hand it’s a gesture, i suppose. hmmm, not all gay bars can afford to lose the business tho. hmm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Mia-Danger-McMahon/562581333 Mia Danger McMahon

I’m behind this for a couple of reasons. First, it’s completely rude to wave your wedding in our faces when we are fighting for our basic human rights on that front. Seriously, it’s very inconsiderate. Second, I don’t even think that straight women getting drunk and flirting and harassing with all the gay folk in their spaces is appropriate in the first place, whether it’s for a bachelorette party or not. There’s a reason why we’ve had to create these spaces: it’s to get away from all the heterosexual bullshit and pressures. It’s a space meant for us to gather and have fun in a safe place, it’s not your personal playground or gay petting zoo. I know from being a woman that regular bars are often hazardous environments for women thanks to the prevalence of rape culture and guys just being straight up creepy/offensive, but that doesn’t mean you can take our spaces away. If you need a new place to gather and have fun with your girlfriends, maybe we should start creating woman-only spaces where you can have your girl’s night and do as you please. Just a thought…
http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.munoz Sara Munoz

As a straight female, I understand completely. But let’s hope the gals haven’t already gotten drunk in the limo before getting to the bar, otherwise they might not be so understanding.
http://www.facebook.com/nfcole1 Nancy Fox Cole

I am in full support…..so to all my heterosexual girlfriends let’s take our money to someplace where WE are not discriminated against!
http://www.facebook.com/sdhollingshead Stephen Hollingshead

As a straight man, I refuse to get married (if the opportunity presents itself) until all of my gay and lesbian friends are able to.
http://www.facebook.com/GoddessMoonLady Sera Huff

I wish Play, here in Nashville, would do the same. It’s the only decent club in this city (gay or straight) so all the little hetero girls and guys flock to us for their parties. It’s bad enough we have to see them drunkenly stumbling along 2nd avenue and Broadway in the straight country/karaoke bars, but then they take it to our end of town and rub our faces in it. It’s damned irritating when you’re out looking for a date and surrounded by straight people instead of the enticing lesbian set that I know live here. For Fuck’s sake! Go back to your OWN damn clubs!
http://www.facebook.com/abraham.lopez.31542 Abraham López

Thats Like Going To A Poor Ass Country Where There Are Starving People & You Go There With TONS of Food Where You only take 1 Bite of it & Then THrow It Away Cause You Dont Want That Food No More !
Ariel B. Dreamfalling

It’s only fair. I’m in total support and I’m sure all the wonderful allies we have with straight women around the world will understand it’s not about them it’s about the injustice. Kudos to the Abbey for that!
http://profile.yahoo.com/Z2LJ3RSCZE6CZLXLQIIRPOYBYM Roger

AMEN!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=589196255 Maria Reyes

It’s a great idea in theory, but why ban? What are we really doing by banning people from coming in? You’re doing the same thing that is happening to us in the gay community. Taking away a right. Not a very important right, but it’s not like the straight guys/girls woke up that morning and said let’s go F&!k up their nights at the gay bar by flaunting our heterosexual rights in their faces. I know plenty of straight girls who go to gay bars just to avoid being hit on all night by losers at straight bars. Come on people. Stop breeding hatred and negativity and maybe this world could be nicer for everyone. It’s not straight people’s fault our government gave them rights and not us. It’s not black people’s fault that our “great country” stripped them of basic human rights for hundreds of years. Fact is, it happens. As a general population and country we’ve oops’ed a number times. This is definitely one of those times. Put the good energy out there and continue educating people about gay rights and eventually, we’ll get there. But stop with the hate…

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=56802694 Jennifer Nicole

They aren’t banning people from coming in, they are simply not allowing a specific party that is directly insensitive to the majority of the patrons that frequent there, from taking place. They are welcome, and its not even about spewing hate, its simply saying, I won’t allow a bachelorette party in my establishment until ALL of my patrons can host one. I don’t see how its any different from heterosexual people abstaining from marriage until everyone is given equal rights.

Anonymous

Wow. I didn’t know this was that big of an issue. I spent a lot of nights in our local gay bar last year hanging out with my friends all girl choir (all different orientations). Some of them brought their boyfriends, some got really drunk, I mentioned my husband a few times but I also mentioned I’m bisexual too. This article makes me not want to go back now. I’d hate for anyone to think I’m trying to rub anything in their face when really, I just want to have fun and make friends.

http://twitter.com/TStrick67 Tanya Strickland

Doesn’t sound like you’re rubbing in anything! It’s the Bachelorette parties specifically that are rude and obnoxious. Sounds like you’re respectful, and enjoying good music and good company :^)

Anonymous

Yes that’s what we were doing but this just reminded me because we were a large group of girls. Anyway, idk what to think of this. I get the point, but I seriously doubt such a ban would really help the process of legalizing same sex marriage, even if every gay bar in the country does it. On the other hand, bachelorette parties are annoying, lol. I think this is just an excuse to justify banning them.

http://twitter.com/TStrick67 Tanya Strickland

Agree 100%. They aren’t banning straight women, just Bachelorette Parties. Now, if I could find a way to dodge all the requisite bridal showers at the office
Anonymous

i have never understod how this ritual (bachelorette/bachelor parties) speaks to the sanctity of marriage anyway. nothing says family values and committment like a night of debauchery prior to the nuptials.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=654893387 Sam Armstrong

Sigh. This is not a way to build bridges.
http://twitter.com/CIN2 C-IN2

OOPS
olenholm

The bar Cocktail in Chicago BANNED THEM FOR ALL OF ETERNITY, thankfully.
http://twitter.com/TheIntimacyBook The Intimacy Book

If they have been frequanting the establishment, then whats the problem.

Tags

Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality is Law

Pages

Tags

Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties Until Marriage Equality is Law

Yo Categories

Pages