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Perpetual Victim Bristol Palin Accuses Media of Hateful Agenda for Questioning Her Hateful Views

Posted by on Aug 13, 2012 in Haters Gonna Hate | 6 comments

She's baaaack!

Bristol Palin and her monkey suit have been invited back for the upcoming 15th season of Dancing with the Stars. Producers of the so-called All-Star season (Pbthhhhhh!) realized that they simply could not make do without the teen mother-turned unsolicited presidential parenting consultant among the cast.

Less than a day after being welcomed back to the ABC family, Bristol took to the interwebs to blast the media for ruining her big day by repeatedly questioning the anti-gay mother about her feelings on potentially be paired with a gay partner on the gay, gay, gay program.

Frankly, I found the question silly. Of course, I’d most like to dance with Mark again, but that’s up to the producers! If I can’t dance with Mark, I’d love to dance with a gay partner, a straight partner, or anything in between. I’m not looking for romance at Dancing With The Stars, but I do want to do as well as I can, make as many friends as I can, and maybe – just maybe – walk away with the mirror ball trophy.

But the media can’t seem to figure this out. In their simplistic minds, the fact that I’m a Christian, that I believe in God’s plan for marriage, means that I must hate gays and must hate to even be in their presence. Well, they were right about one thing: there was hate in that media room, but the hate was theirs, not mine.

Oh dear.

Giiiiirl, it’s not your Christianity that has reporters hung up on your personal brand of homophobia and Alpine hate. It’s your family’s non-stop homophobia parade!

Your sister uses anti-gay epithets on Facebook for all the world to see, and just last month you giggled like a schoolgirl after your 3-year-old son called you a faggot on television! And we’re still gagging a bit from that time that you pretended that you were raped by Levi Johnston; an ugly lie he’ll no doubt be bringing up in court now that he’s suing you for full custody of your child together.

The meeeeedia is going to continue to ask you questions about your family’s hateful beliefs because your family continues to share your hateful beliefs with all the world. But hey, you already knew that. It’s practically in the Palin Family Owner’s Guide to Fame.

Never forget.