END OF DAYS! San Francisco Considers Public Nudity Ban
A few (Dozen? Hundred? Thousand?) bad apples in cock rings are ruining San Francisco’s longstanding public nudity allowance for everyone.
The current laws on the books allow public nudity in San Francisco if a person is not “visibly sexually aroused,” but ah ah ahhhh, what’s this?
“There is a difference between being naked and making a political statement and then wearing jewelry that brings attention to one’s genital areas,” said gay San Francisco police Sergeant Chuck Limbert, the LGBT liaison at Mission Station, whose jurisdiction covers the Castro neighborhood. “We have been getting a lot more pressure from the community to do some enforcement in regard to the public nudity and what is going on up there.”
Limbert insisted there is no specific police department policy regarding cock rings and denied that there were “cock ring patrols” on the hunt in the Castro.
Cock ring patrols?! What is going on in San Francisco?!
Lest we not agree that some pejazzling does not a raging problem make, District 8 Supervisor Scott Weiner tries to get our blood pumping with this bit of scandalous information:
We’d be more inclined to subscribe to Weiner’s accusation of cock ring gangs harassing elementary school students if that weren’t just about the tiredest trope in the anti-gay playbook. As in, “How will I teach my children about gay marriage?” and “Homosexuals are infiltrating our elementary schools!”
So what say you, unicorn-on-the-street? Have any of our San Franciscorns encountered cock ring trubs out in the wilds of the Castro? And has anybody had a boner ruin their vacation while playing tourist in the Bay Area?
Sound off in the comments below!
(via Bay Area Reporter)