Students, the Answer to Someone Offering You an Alcohol Enema is a Polite but Firm, ‘NO.’
Let’s role play, you guys. I’ll be playing the role of your attractive, shaggy fraternity overlord. My t-shirt is inside-out (doubling the time in between laundry!), I’m wearing a pair of Adidas flip-flops, and I smell like equal parts stale beer, crotch, and Bagel Bites.
You can be the wide-eyed ingenue, eager to join my frat so you can have sex with girls (and me a little, you hope).
What would your response be if I were all, “Yo pledge! Waddup, bra? Howzabout I rip those K-Mart plaid boxers that your mom bought you off and you do a headstand next to that keg so I can stuff a funnel in your butt and fill you up with a bottle of dollar store malt liquor?”
What would you say?
UT suspended the Phi Kappa Alpha chapter Monday for 30 days or until a decision is made about the chapter’s future. The fraternity cannot operate during that time.
Hospital staff told Knoxville Police investigators that Alexander Broughton, 20, was in critical condition and unresponsive when he arrived, with a blood alcohol content level greater than 0.4, which is considered toxic and potentially deadly.
After conducting several interviews, investigators determined the fraternity members had used rubber tubing to give each other alcohol enemas. Police said the practice heightens and speeds up the process of alcohol entering the blood stream because it bypasses the liver’s filters.
Guys, the correct answer was “NO.”
Ahh, you’ll get it right next time.