These 6 Covers of FABULOUS Magazine Fuel the One Direction Gay Rumors Fire
Gay rumors have plagued One Direction since their inception. Probably because they’re always kissing one another and grabbing each other’s butts, and one imagines “wrestling” on their tour bus.
But then reporters are all, “So tell me about being gay.” And the boys are all, “Whaaaa? We surely haven’t the slightest fancy about what you are implying, good sirs!” And then the reporters respond, “Buttsex, fellas.” And then 1D is all, “Ohhhhhh! Well, yes, that.”
Or something. Probably. Maybe! But probably.
Look, now is as good of a time as any to spill the beans that I have no clue who these gentlemen are, I’ve only ever heard their song (songs?) once, I suspect that each of their first names are the products of an overzealous marketing department, and the only reason I am writing about them is because I do understand that they are quite famous and UB readers keep sending me the same “tips” about 3-ish(???) of them being gay.
Well, if One Direction was trying to quell the gay rumors, these six collectors edition issues of FABULOUS – all caps, natch – Magazine were probably a bit of a misstep.
And those quotes! Jesus. “I’d rather go to sleep than find a girl.” “Sorry girls, I’ll never sleep around.” “Tops only.” Etc.
Quotes like that would have sunk the U.S.S. N’SYNC back in the day. These One Direction boys don’t even know how lucky they have it.
Somewhere at a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in West Hollywood, Lance Bass is reading Unicorn Booty right now and yelling “You’re WELCOME, Niall!” And then he’s all, “Gosh, am I pronouncing that right? Is that even a real name?”
I’m with you, Lance. One Directioners, here’s your post. You’re WELCOME.