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Elton John and David Furnish Welcome New Son into Their Family
Second Most Powerful Homosexual in the World, Elton John (Hellooooo, Ellen!), and huz David Furnish are crazy-go-nuts-proud to announce the addition of baby Elijah Joseph Daniel Furnish-John to their family.
Aww! Coo! Lovely!
Except, here’s the thing: That’s too many names. And too many Nilla Wafer, white people names at that. Snooze! Throw a fruit in there or an antiquated piece of technology. A shout-out to a beloved piece of childhood fiction, at the very least! How is baby Elijah meant to stand out in a world full of Zumas, Bronx Mowglis and Apples?
I suppose all that money will help.
Congratulations to the proud papas!
