20 Ways to Leave Your Bisexual Closet

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If you’re out as bisexual, yay! Feels great doesn’t it?

It was recently Bi Visibility Day, and if you’re thinking about coming out as bisexual, what better day to do that than National Coming Out Day! Because, yep, that’s part of what the day is all about — making bisexuality more visible. And bi-visibility is important because the more people realize they actually already know bisexuals, the quicker everyone will get it that we are not the big bad scary greedy monsters that biphobes like to say we are.

Can’t come out? Will be in danger if you do? Then don’t! Instead work towards changing your future so that you someday can. Yes, the bisexual community feels your pain, and still loves you, and we want you to stay safe! If you’re in crisis, please contact the Trevor Project.

Want to come out but not quite sure it’s what’s best for you? Take a look at this article: “Why Bother Coming Out as Bisexual”.

And consider this quote, from Karen Hurley, in a 1995 BiNet USA document:

The label bisexual ferries me to an island where people support and affirm my relationships, regardless of the gender of my lovers, and where I can offer the support and affirmation to others in return. For this reason I do not eschew labels — the label is a tool (In this case, serving to create community and avoid tedious persons who want to give me attitude about who I’m sleeping with)….

If you are ready to come out as bisexual, congratulations! You’ve already gotten through the hardest part, coming out to yourself — usually it pretty much gets easier from there on.

Whether you’re coming out after identifying as (or being assumed) straight, gay, or lesbian, you might want to prepare a bit for coming out, so check out these links:

– HRC Coming Out as Bisexual Guide

– Advice for Coming Out as Bisexual

– For Bi Guys Coming Out.

Have these posts handy for those you come out to, so they know best how to be supportive:

– 7 Ways to Be an Awesome Bisexual Ally

– 10 Things You May Think Sound Supportive of Bisexuals but Aren’t

– 10 Supportive Things to Say to Bisexuals

– 15 Ways to Fight Biphobia

So, you’re all set, but gee it’d be great to have a little added inspiration? Reading these awe-inspiring bisexual men coming -out stories should do the trick.

Ready now to make your truth be known? Awesome!

So how you gonna go about it? Well, to borrow from a Paul Simon song: “I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free. There must be…”

… 20 ways to leave your closet!

1: Announce it on Twitter, and like Eva Gutowski, follow up with informative tweets about bisexuality.

2: Make a YouTube video.

Be as bold and outrageous or sweet, or sincere as you like.

3: Come out in a Facebook post. Wouldn’t it be awesome if the responses are as wonderful as this teen’s mom’s reaction?

bisexual, flag, colors, cake, baking, The Biscuit
(image via The Biscuit)

4: Bake cupcakes or cookies or a cake with bi pride colors…

… and then share them at your dorm, club, class, volunteer group, church (maybe?)…. And explain what the colors mean and why you want to be your authentic self with them.

5: Buy a bunch of bisexual books and read them where others will see you, then look up and say, “Wow, it’s so great being bisexual; there are a lot of really interesting books on the topic, or with bi characters.”

6: Write a poem about being bisexual and read it a community open mic.

7: Wear a bi-pride T-shirt.

8: Change your cover photo on Facebook, or header photo Twitter, to a bi-pride image.

9: Add a bi-twibbon to your profile.

10: Have the serious sit-down talk. Lots of these ideas are great for those who know the people in their life are going to be pretty accepting, but for many, having a calm, unrushed, talk in a quiet place is going to work best for those closest to us. Be sure to read the preparation links at the beginning of this article first.

11: If your friends and family are aware of the bisexual colors, wear bisexual makeup, or…

12: …paint your nails bi colors.

13: Tell all your favorite people that you have big news, then throw a coming out surprise party with a big banner saying “Surprise, I’m Bi!”

14: March in a parade!

bisexual, pride, parade, protestor, marchers
(image via Thomas Hawk)

15: Let your bi flag fly

16: Send all your peeps this wacky video announcing that You’re bi, bi, bi!

17: Write a song about being bisexual.

18: Make a #StillBisexual video.

19: Put a Bisexual Pride bumper sticker on your car.

20: Just start acting as if everyone already knows and mention the guy you dated in high school, and the girl you almost got engaged to in college, and that cute agender person at work you have a huge crush on.

Congratulations on your decision to come out and good luck!

Be sure to reach out to the bisexual community for support and comradery.

– Bisexual Resource Center

– BiNet USA Facebook Page

– Bisexual Index

– Bi.org Blog

Got other great ideas on how to leave the closet? Add them to the comments section!

  • Anthony English

    Before I came out I was talking to a guy (we went on one date after talking for a week and a half) and told him the music my family was playing (we were on a family vacation and my uncle put on 70s music). He said I was going to not just come out, but come dancing out of the closet. Flash forward to this past October… Other than telling my parents I was going out, I didn’t say anything about where I was going. Went to Philly’s OutFest, and about 5 minutes into the drag show (I’d been at the festival for about a half hour at that point, already had my first Stoli and pink lemonade) I just said screw it, did a check in on Facebook to say where I was and then posted a video of the drag show, which was at the time a tribute to the Pulse nightclub victims. Not too long after I had 2 of my cousins comment on the check in asking if I was trying to tell them something, followed by me saying SURPRISE! lol After assuring them that I wasn’t joking, I was dancing and singing along to the drag show, more than a little comfortable with a crowd of people all doing the same thing