best porn parodies

SpongeKnob SquareNuts and Whorey Potter: 20 More of the Best and Strangest Porn Parodies

Everyone mocks porn plots for basically all being the same. But YOU try making thousands of movies, eh? It’s difficult being original when there’s so much new pornography pumped out every day. So you get your ideas where you can — typically from mainstream movies and TV shows. We took a look at porn parodies before, and gave special looks at Star Wars and political porn parodies — but there’s been loads since then (aha), plus some that we just missed the first time around. So join us for another round of the best porn parodies of all time!

One note: The best thing about porn parodies are the titles — which is why we can’t get behind the trend to just add “This Ain’t!” or “A XXX Parody” to the real title, like the trailer for 30 Rock XXX Parody above. Is it really so hard to think of a good MAD magazine-style name? C’mon! They left Dirty Rock right there on the table! Or 30 Cock! These things write themselves! So all the entries on our list will have good, ol’ fashioned sexy pun titles. Because otherwise, what’s the point?

Porks & Recreation

WoodRocket.com has cornered the market on some of the more bizarre parody ideas. In Porks & Recreation (not a bad title, but why not Porks & Procreation?) Pawnee’s least-favorite councilwoman, Leslie Knope tries to spice up her sex life with her husband Ben using porno. She also fucks Ron Swanson, apparently, which is another way to spice up your marriage… we guess!

Not gonna lie — there’s some solid jokes in the trailer; I literally laughed out loud at Tom-Ara Haverford’s juggalo porn idea and the idea of Ron Swanson enjoying a porn film named Eat His Meat where naked women eat T-bone steaks. That’s totally in-character for the real Ron Swanson.

 

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Bonesaw

Horror seems like an odd sell for a porno genre — and Bonesaw (riffing on the Saw franchise) is as much into the horror as the porn. Deranged killer Bonesaw kidnaps a man named Lee and puts him through the same style of puzzles as Jigsaw did in the original. Bonesaw’s puzzles are a bit sexier though — Lee has to get a hostage to ejaculate in 15 minutes and later, he’s got to service two other men without moving from a circle on the floor. There’s a lot of blood in this one — it’s so gory, hotel pay-per-view channels refused to carry it.

Down On Abby: Tales From Bottomley Manor

Now this is what we’re talking about — not just one, but two puns in the title!  This parody of Downton Abbey features the Lord and Lady Grabhem and their stepdaughters Abby and Fanny as they (and the downstairs servants) prepare for a dinner party… presumably with lots of fucking.

The trailer is particularly amusing — made to look like the opening of the real show, it looks relatively serious, but the seriousness is undercut with the actors’ names, like “Ben Dover” and “Big Bad Dave”. Something tells me, someone named Big Bad Dave would have trouble finding a gig on the real Downton Abbey (unless he has excellent manners)

Gay Of Thrones

Are you a big fan of Game of Thronesbut tired of all the naked women? Gay of Thrones has you covered! So far, two seasons of the parody show has been released by Men.Com. There’re a few other Game of Thrones parodies out there — including Game of BonesStorm of Kings and the not terribly creatively-named Sex of Thrones — so, considering how much sex the original has, if you have any Game of Thrones-related fantasy, it’s probably covered.

The Bare Wench Project

This parody of The Blair Witch Project has a great title, but uses the found-footage conceit to get away with shoddy camerawork. But then, the original’s shaky-cam technique could make audiences sick — Bare Wench just looks cruddy, so, uh, count that as a win? Bare Wench also is softcore at best — there’s no actual sex, but loads of bare breasts — meaning that this was probably very, very popular with the 13-year-old set. Just like real porn, though, there were tons of sequels, including Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless and Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain. 

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Charge On Themis – Titan Soldiers

The popular anime series Attack On Titan features naked, giant, genital-less monsters attacking a town, destroying buildings and fighting each other to eat the citizenry; obviously, the perfect scenario for a porn film! While Charge on Themis – Titan Soldiers may not have a pun title (or if it is, they’re making you work for it), the idea of an Attack on Titan-themed porn complete with vore (the word fetishists use to mean “eating people alive, like a food”) is just so amazingly weird it had to make our list.

Celebrity Pornhab With Dr. Screw

Looking for a modicum of taste in pornography is a loser’s game, but there seems something odd about making a porno out of a reality show in which people try to kick drugs. That said, it’s not quite as odd as making a real reality show out of people trying to kick drugs — and considering that six alums of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew died after the show, Celebrity Pornhab might have a better track record.

Celebrity Pornhab parodies many of the celebrities who had appeared on the show — including Pornhab star and real Celebrity Rehab alum Mary Carey. In the parody, everyone’s shows up to get clean and, naturally, the entire cast ends up succumbing to hedonism — which doesn’t seem too far away from the show it was based on.

Twinklight

Did you like Twilight but thought Bella and Edward’s relationship was kinda creepy and abusive? Thankfully, there’s Twinklight, where Billa and Edmund end up getting together. It’s still about an ancient vampire who wants to hook up with young humans, but, hey, at least there’s way more sex than in the original.

PrOn

Like Porks & RecreationPrOn is directed by Lee Roy Myers, who knows his way around a porn parody. A parody of the 1982 film TronPrOn includes loads of ’80s jokes, like the “futuristic telephone” which is just an old Bakelite land-line. In the parody, Kevin Fling works for a sex toy manufacturer, where, like Flynn in the original, he is sucked into the computer. He fucks his way to the Masturbation Control Program and saves the day. Very high-tech!

Full Holes

Between the Jimmy Fallon reunions and Netflix’s reboot of the series, Fuller HouseFull House is inexplicably seeing a surge of popularity lately. Which, of course means that there’s a porn parody of it. Another Lee Roy Myers joint, Full Holes features the Handy Tanner family fucking and sucking each other. “Blowey”, the Joey Gladstone analogue, actually does pretty good voices — about as decent as Dave Coulier’s iffy Bullwinkle impression, anyway.

It’d be totally illegal and morally wrong if the adult characters of Full House ever tried to screw the young girls under their roof, but seeing as all the actors in Full Holes are over the age of 18, we guess it’s for father-daughter fetishists? Have mercy!

 

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Moan

It might take a second to register, but Moan is a parody of the 1996 horror deconstruction Scream. In it, the Ghostface analogue is a pornography-obsessed maniac who is hyper-aware of porn tropes. For example, at the end (sorry for the spoiler), the killer ends the film with a threesome, saying “No porno is complete without a threeway.” Moan was by the gay division of Vivid Entertainment — over 10 years later, Vivid would do a straight version of a Scream parody, but with the uninspired title Scream XXX: A Porn Parody — so this one is clearly superior.

A Clockwork Orgy

Did you watch Stanley Kubrick’s film adaptation of Anthony Burgess’ novel A Clockwork Orange and say to yourself “You know, this exploration of ultra-violence and what it means to have free will is good and all — but there should be a porn version of this!” If so, congratulations — you clearly weren’t the only one!

A Clockwork Orgy genderswaps the original, with Alexandra leading a gang of toughs who fight male perverts with sex — until Alexandra is captured and conditioned to get nauseous at the idea of sex. Sadly, they couldn’t get the rights to “Singing In The Rain”, and had to replace it with the public domain hit, “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” Still, the droogs speak in a version of the “Nadsat” slang of the original with words like “gashy-washy” — so while it’s truer to the original than you might expect, it’s still a really strange choice for a parody.

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I Dream Of Twinky

The 1960s Larry Hagman/Barbara Eden sitcom I Dream of Jeannie has a porn parody, as odd as that may sound. We had no idea that anyone still remembered the odd show where an astronaut discovers a genie in a bottle. Bewitched had a similar premise and was a much better show, but hey. Manville Entertainment has made a few of these ancient-sitcom parodies, including Drilligan’s Island (below).

How The Grinch Gaped Christmas

If you ever wanted your porn in verse,

or if getting off to iambic pentameter’s your curse

How The Grinch Gaped Christmas will be your new fave…

…Well, it’s better than a porn parody of Meet Dave.

It’s got Joanna Angel and porn stars galore

(You may remember her as the lemon-stealing whore)!

So if Christmas-themed fucking is just what you wish

this new version of The Grinch might be your dish.

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Raiders Of The Lost Arse

Raiders of the Lost Arse has one of our favorite titles — but that might just be because of all the “Arse of the Covenant” jokes we could make. While Raiders doesn’t follow the plot of Raiders of the Lost Ark closely — so, sadly, there’s no scene where a Nazi’s face starts melting after looking into someone’s divine butt — it’s surprisingly well-made. It’s shot in widescreen and the score from J. D. Slater (a reportedly 25-year porn music veteran) is legitimately good. In the film, a group of sexy archaeologists awaken the long-dead gay pharaoh Sethmosis, who was unfairly sealed away by the priests of Osiris. Then everybody fucks.

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The Godmother

The porno archaeologists at Alpha Blue have recently discovered and reissued a lost parody from 1972. The Godmother — a parody of Francis Ford Coppola’s epic The Godfather (if that wasn’t obvious) — is a story about two women who take revenge on their friend’s murderer, a drug dealer. Presumably, their revenge involves sex somehow… enough revenge sex to fill five films, apparently. Even the original stopped at three.

The Whore Of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf Of Wall Street won a ton of awards! Sadly, The Whore Of Wall Street didn’t win any, but as the trailer points out, it’s got a pretty good pedigree of AVN (Adult Video Newsaward winners. We’re not sure if The Whore Of Wall Street is quite as biting when it comes to its satire of the corruption of Wall Street bankers, but then again, do you really want economic satire in your porno? If so, there’s probably some horny, intellectual hedge fund managers waiting to whack off to it.

Whorrey Potter And The Sorcerer’s Balls

Whorrey Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from the title — a gay porn parody of the first Harry Potter. Whorrey Potter is met by Fag-Hagrid — played by RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 3 alum Mimi Imfurst — who takes Whorrey to Cockwarts.

While it might not be the best-made film in our list, it was the first 3-D gay porn film, so that’s… certainly… something. Rantasmo of YouTube series Needs More Gay did a hilarious video review of Whorrey Potter, so if you want to know more of the details, we highly recommend it (Rantasmo’s video, we mean — it’s below).

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Late Night For Lovers

What might be most surprising about this parody of Late Night With David Letterman is that it’s actually still available. A porn parody talk show seems odd — how different would it be from Al Goldstein‘s infamous public access talk show Midnight Blue? But somehow, this exists, and if you’ve ever wondered what Letterman’s NBC show would look like if it had a lot of sex and was shot in the basement as Wayne’s World, there you go.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Oh god why there’s a sequel

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Honorable Mention

Sadly, it’s not a film, but WoodRocket put together a porny photo gallery based on “Weird Al” Yankovic’s 1989 film UHF If there were a film, maybe they’d call it VHF with the “V” standing for “Vagina” — we can dream, right? If you’ve ever wondered what a woman would look like trying to appear sexy in a Weird Al wig and moustache, wonder no longer:

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The existence of UHF porn makes us wonder if there’ll be a porn version of Al’s new gig at Comedy Bang! Bang! — they wouldn’t even have to change the title! Bonus: Sexy Emo Phillips! (Photo: WoodRocket.com)

(featured image via WoodRocket.com)