revenge porn

Gay Man’s Homemade Porn Uploaded to Facebook as Ex-Lover’s Revenge

An Australian man’s life was ruined when his former lover uploaded their homemade porn to Facebook, YouTube and then emailed the video to his boss and co-workers. This is just one more horrible example of the epidemic that revenge porn is having on people, many of them in the LGB community.

The man named Mr A initially had his homemade porn uploaded to Facebook in an act of revenge by a jilted ex-lover.  He couldn’t pinpoint any reason why the ex had committed the horrible act, saying, “no explanation rationalizes it or makes sense of it.”

The lover then proceeded to send more explicit images directly to his mother and family and tagged friends, clients and work colleagues in the Facebook posts.

“The phone started going nuts. My friends were calling and asking if I was aware about what was going on,” Mr A told news.com.au. “While I wasn’t around he had accessed my Dropbox, Facebook, email and other social media. The worst was when my mother called up and told me she didn’t need to see me having sex.”

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After agreeing to see him so that the photos may be taken down, Mr. A was physically assaulted by his ex-lover, getting punched in the eye socket. The former lover was later charged and found guilty for assault occasioning actual bodily harm.

This outcome didn’t stop him from continuing to harass and bully Mr A with the revenge porn. It only made it worse in fact.

The ex next uploaded the video to YouTube and then shared the link with Mr. A’s boss and coworkers. “The damage by then was done. In one way it’s good because there’s nothing hidden about me any more, but on the same token, my job, my ability to perform, has nothing to do with who I sleep with. I wasn’t hired because of who I sleep with, I was hired because of what I do, and it makes it difficult.”

Revenge porn is a growing epidemic all over the world. Research shows that one in 25 Americans have been a victim of threats or posts of nearly nude or nude images without their permission.

Cyber Civil Rights Initiative reports:

Among revenge porn victims, 93% reported significant emotional distress, while 82% reported suffering significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Over half (51%) of victims indicated that they had even considered committing suicide. With regard to their occupation, 55% of respondents feared that their professional reputation would be tarnished because of revenge porn, while 39% said that the crime actually affected their professional life.

Also, studies show that LGB internet users are far more likely than those who identify as straight to have experienced threats of or actual nonconsensual image-sharing.

The Data & Society Research Institute and the Center for Innovative Public Health Research reports:

Among internet users who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB), 15% say someone has threatened to share a nude or nearly-nude photo or video of them without their permission, a far higher rate than among heterosexual internet users (2%). In addition, 7% of LGB respondents have had someone share a nude or nearly nude image of them, compared with 2% of heterosexual internet users. Taken together, 17% of LGB Americans have either had an image shared without their consent or have had someone threaten to share an image of them.

Despite the drama, Mr A’s boss and coworkers were remarkably supportive, replying to the ex, “This says nothing about Mr A and everything about you.”

Thankfully, Mr A kept his job. “Their response was amazingly good, you couldn’t want for better,” he said.

“This isn’t high school revenge. I went to bed every night not wanting to wake up the next morning. I just didn’t want to deal with it.”

If you are the victim of cyber bullying or revenge porn, visit here for help.