It’s boring to win. Winners cry, which is also boring. Then they thank God, which is the worst, because if God hasn’t bothered to cure the world of blood diamonds or child slavery, he sure as shit isn’t concerned with who wins Best Supporting Actor.
Losing is where it’s at. And to lose big is to lose stylishly; so few people understand that, especially at the Academy Awards, where everyone on camera seems to have been coached by Bill Murray for maximum game face. That guy has it down.
Obviously it’d be most enjoyable if, while watching the Oscar telecast at home, one of the Not Winners had a total conniption shit-fit, their heads melting down Raiders of The Lost Ark-style while squirting out molten rage-tears. This, alas, never happens.
But every now and then the mask slips. We rounded-up some of the best slips and present them here now as award-winners examples of the best ways to lose an Oscar.