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The Secret Tumblr That Steven Universe Fans Secretly Geek Out Over

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It’s Steven Universe Week at Unicorn Booty, so all week long we’ll be exploring the artists, fans and creative aspects that make it the most progressive cartoon in history!

Tumblr is a big part of any fandom; just ask any given Doctor WhoSherlock or Supernatural fan. Or, better, a fan of all three. Of course, Steven Universe is no exception; there’s approximately 5,679,918 Tumblrs devoted to our favorite show. The crew of the show (aka the “Crewniverse”) is even active on Tumblr, including creator Rebecca Sugar — but the best Steven Universe Tumblr comes from Beach City, the town the show takes place in, itself: Keep Beach City Weird.

Ronaldo Fryman, author of Keep Beach City Weird.

Keep Beach City Weird is the blog of Ronaldo Fryman, the fictional Steven Universe character who fancies himself as a chronicler of conspiracy, seer of the strange and blogger of the, uh… bl-weird. A lot of unexplainable stuff happens in Beach City, but luckily for us, Ronaldo’s there to keep tabs on it all.

In real life, the blog is run by members of the Crewniverse. “Ronaldo” usually posts shortly after each Steven Universe episode airs. Far from a recap, Ronaldo’s posts take a small aspect of the episode and spins it out into a new theory. His theories are ultimately wrong — but he has a tendency to be a bit more correct than he realizes.

For example, consider his post about the dangers of “Rock People”:

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/136780963301/a-few-months-ago-i-had-the-honor-of-doing-a

Of course, Beach City is populated by rock people — namely, the Crystal Gems. Of course, and luckily for us, water doesn’t really do anything to the Gems other than make them wet. And the “rock people” aren’t really hiding: The Crystal Gems are pretty upfront about who and what they are.

Even quiet episodes like “Shirt Club” (ones that don’t feature much in the way of aliens and magical creatures) still get the Ronaldo treatment:

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/116586902601/today-i-made-contact-with-an-aliens-with-my-face

Again — he’s not entirely wrong: He did get this shirt from aliens… well, a half-alien. Steven. He got the shirt from Steven. And it’s not a “clever ploy to destroy all of humanity”, it’s a shirt to promote Greg Universe’s guitar lessons. So, yeah — Ronaldo’s mostly wrong, but not entirely.

And sometimes Ronaldo is right but doesn’t know it. Consider this post which followed the episode “Full Disclosure“:

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/113552352086/the-space-hand-blew-up-were-safe-but

“Full Disclosure” aired on March 13, 2015 — the same day this post. At first it looked like another hilarious Ronaldo post…. but (SPOILERS AHEAD), in the episode “It Could Have Been Great”, we find out that the Homeworld Gems (the show’s villains), were actually planning on taking all of Earth’s resources and hollowing it out. Because their plan wasn’t completely revealed until the following season, it took almost a year for this joke to pay off.

Of course, keeping track on the strangeness of Beach City does get old, so Ronaldo likes to treat us to reviews of shows and movies he likes:

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/102566804726/time-for-another-ronaldo-review-this-week-im

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/136626403061/keep-beach-city-spoiler-free

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/115346333966/why-is-nobody-talking-about-the-crying-breakfast

http://keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com/post/104379180556/aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh-ok-so-i-just-finished-the

Unfortunately, with Steven Universe‘s erratic broadcast schedule, Ronaldo’s been quiet since January. But when new episodes of Steven Universe return, Ronaldo should return as well with more mis-interpretations, crazy theories, dark truths and recaps of non-existent cartoon shows.

And always remember:
sneeple, snake people, snail people, steven universe, gif