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3 Questions to Consider Before Buying a Virtual Blowjob Online

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Now that you know about the coming of virtual reality porn and “real-doll” sex robots, it’s time for you to reckon with “teledildonics”, the fancy name given to “tactile sensations communicated over a data link between participants.”

Basically, one form of teleDILDOnics involves high-tech dildos that can transmit the pressure applied to them to penile sleeves miles away. For example, if the dildo receives a gentle caress from a hand, mouth or vagina, similar sensations get replicated through an electronic penile sleeve over someone’s dick far away. It’s all very magical.

Here’s a video explaining teledildonics. Consider it your cybersex education (seeing as you probably didn’t receive an actual sex education)

This sexual technology (sexnology?) isn’t science-fiction. In fact, there’s a company called CamSoda that basically sells pre-recorded digital blowjobs through their “BlowCast” service. But the sale of virtual blowies raises three very important ethical questions (which we’ll go down on below):

Can hackers make the device destroy your dick?

From what we understand, the penile sleeve lacks enough power to rip your dick off (or even bruise it), but a mauled member is the least of your worries. Instead, you should worry about hackers breaking into your device and then hacking your other devices to steal your passwords and identity. Apparently that can totally happen even though CamSoda president Daron Lundeen told Vice magazine that they trust their network’s security. Mmm-hmmm…

Will cocksuckers be adequately compensated for their oral skills?

For $250, CamSoda customers get a penile sleeve and 30-days of free, downloadable blowjobs. After that, each download (downblowed?) costs $1. In this way, CamSoda is basically setting the prices like a cyber-pimp, and $1 blowjobs aren’t gonna keep their hunnies in scads of cash. In fact, if their pay model is anything like Spotify’s, CamSoda’s cocksuckers will get paid dick.

An actual in-person blowjob costs anywhere from $20 to hundreds of dollars, but then again, an in-person blowjob involves an actual human contact and effort (why do you think they call it a “job”?). So while you could argue that the $1 price tag makes up for the lack of human contact, most of that dollar will likely go towards the people running the service rather than the teledildonic cocksuckers.

We seriously doubt any digital donglickers are gonna make serious bank from BlowCasts, no matter how popular they are. But we hope we’re wrong though.

Will digital sex turn us all into a bunch of cold, masturbating beej-fiends?

Probably. After all, studies have linked porn addiction to reduced interest in actual fucking. But then again, there’s a brighter possible side to all this. Teledildonics could help provide sexual experiences to disabled people, people with extreme social anxiety, and those who for one reason or another can’t have sex with other humans. That’s actually great, provided that the sexnology doesn’t just turn around and steal their credit card numbers.

(featured image via Alice)