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Why Fat People Have More Sex & Are Better At It (NSFW)

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This post is also available in: Portuguese

 

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In our culture, if you don’t look like you shop at Baby Gap, you’re not hot, you’re not. But if you like sex and tend to keep your eyes closed then the truism holds, “more cushion for more pushin.”

Evolutionary studies have showed that big butts send a signal to a man’s brain that the woman is ready to spawn.  A voluptuous lady is the number one trigger for a dude’s libido. So if it weren’t for big butts, the human species might have gone extinct long ago.

There’s a reason why “Big Beautiful Women” porn ranks #6 in the world’s most popular genres. We know that deep down people love a little cushion for the pushin’, but people are too embarrassed to admit it because we’ve brainwashed each other into thinking that skinny bitches are gods. Trust me, they might look good on a runway, but when it comes to sex, they’re always going to be smothered by the real professionals. Besides it’s fetish appeal, I’ve come to the conclusion that big people are simply better at everything – including sex!

There’s a misconception that overweight men are lazy, but when it comes to sex, they last nearly five minutes longer than skinny Joes. New research shows that guys with larger bellies have more stamina due to a sex hormone called estradiol, which helps to inhibit orgasm a lot longer than Mr. Six Pack. Researchers found that men with a higher body mass index (BMI) have more endurance. If that doesn’t inspire you to add a dollop of shmear to that bagel, I don’t know what will.

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We all know the difference between eye-candy and sex appeal:  Let’s face it, supermodels intimidate everyone (even other supermodels). From an early age, overweight men and women learn not to woo people with their bodies, but rather with their personalities. More often than not, they’re funnier, more devoted, and less artificial than the average triathlete, which makes them more likely to get laid in the first place.

According to a British study, 75 percent of women prefer a Seth Rogan-type over a Zac Efron because guys with flab are less threatening. No one wants to be self-conscious taking off his or her clothes in front of their partner. This always leads to more freedom and less inhibition while having sex, which makes it more intriguing.

Whoever said that skin-and-bone were sexy should look at the scientific research, which says that attraction to fat ladies is ingrained within a man’s DNA.

Whether you think so or not, it’s clear that overweight women have more sex than skinny ones. A study from the National Survey of Family Growth said that 92 percent of overweight women reported having a history of sexual intercourse with a man, as opposed to 87 pecent of women with a normal body mass index. Why do you suppose this is? If you ask me, it boils down to three major points.

  • Most dudes aren’t intimidated by big women

    In other words, big women don’t scare men away nearly as much as supermodels do, allowing both men and larger women more wiggle room to open up and be themselves without fear of judgment. Plain Jane is always going to get more sexual propositions than a blonde bombshell.

  • Overweight people train themselves to be masters at sex

    Think about it. If you’re a gorgeous person, there’s no need to try at all. You just sit at a bar waiting for someone to approach you – and most of time your partners are also above-average looking people. Gorgeous folks haven’t given themselves permission to be aggressive. Lots of bigger people mastered their fear of impression long ago.

  • Skinny people tease, while bigger people just go for it.

    Normal beauties and hunks might fail to jump at opportunities because they think another willing partner is just on the horizon. They’re too busy playing hard to get or focusing on starting a relationship rather than getting laid. Most of the time, average Joes don’t beat around the bush. We go all in because we know we have nothing to lose.